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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni - Episode 2 Chapter 6
Episode 2 Chapter 6 – Can We Just Get On With It Already
Because somebody has to serve the guest of honor, and of course she absolutely insists it be the one who hates her. This is the finest guest room in the entire mansion, a room Kinzo hasn't allowed anyone (aside from the servants, to dust regularly) into for years. It was reserved for its current occupant.
Of course she has, Kanon, you're not that lucky.
Beatrice likes this Gohda fellow. She'll try to avoid killing him first this time.
[BGM: Organ short #600 million in C minor]
Kanon feels SO AWKWARD. Beatrice loves it when people are uncomfortable.
She's talking about MURDERS, bro. Still, she just kind of babbles on about it and Kanon doesn't know what the hell she means.
Kanon is furniture, without a complete soul. His existence is monotonous, static and joyless.
So... yeah, technically, death has been something he's looked forward to for a long time. That doesn't mean he can be completely relaxed about all this, though.
>
Only a human can have regrets. Or at least only someone who's loved a human. Not Kanon, though. He has no such feelings. Because furniture.
Beatrice sure is disappointed; if his fate isn't brutal and ironic, it's just not a good show.
This was precisely Shannon's mistake. She went and tried to enjoy life. For fuck's sake, she got attached to someone. Now dying is going to suck for her! Exactly according to Beatrice's keikaku.
See, Kanon was smart. He didn't get any crazy ideas about ever experiencing happiness, because obviously that means eventually he'll be unhappy too.
Being boneheaded enough to choose that for yourself must be what becoming human entails.
You better leave well enough alone, Kanon. Don't think she won't not kill you. She's crazy.
No way! He's at least alive enough to still be indignant on Shannon's behalf.
Wait, why the epitaph suddenly? What's she getting at...
Oh shit! Well okay that's not actually surprising basically at all, but the sheer cruelty of killing her and George for the Second Twilight...
Shannon is the only thing Kanon cares about. She may just be more furniture, but she's still Beatrice's way in for actually forcing Kanon to feel a regret.
Look, Kanon, there's an easy way to prevent this. SOMEONE's gotta mack on her shoes eventually. She's got a raging fetish for feet and men who argue with her.
Beatrice is enjoying this a little too much, so it'd be rude to hang around. Also intensely uncomfortable.
To the parlor!
Battler's exhausted for reasons nobody else in the room fully understands.
MACKEREL
He's acting pretty weird about taking a simple nap. Hold on, is he...
Hey! Hey! Lay off the fourth wall, you. If you wanna talk to Beatrice, do it in Meta World.
See? You're confusing the rest of the pieces, they think you're on about some philosophical shit about laziness.
>
Well, Jessica, you're right. Battler's pretty bad at being a main character.
PAUSE.
Taking a nap on the gameboard is a not-so-subtle hint. What's with all this fucking around? Make your move and murder some people already, he's got places to be. Well, no, he doesn't, but still.
She could have just used the same setup from the first game, but that would have entailed playing it the same way. Of course she gets to try some new tricks. Like, appearing in-person on the gameboard before the murders? Now he doesn't get to flip-flop uselessly about the number of people on the island. It's not a game unless there are a bunch of different moves they can both make.
Yeah, that's pretty much the idea.
As for the blatant use of magic? She showed Rosa a parlor trick with some weird pyrotechnics, maybe. No big deal.
Damn, he sucks at this.
UNPAUSE.
Since Battler's just sleeping on the couch like a slob, everybody else vacates the parlor in various directions.
Without Natsuhi, Krauss and the kids around, Kyrie feels safe telling her story.
They come to largely the same conclusion the letter brought them to last time: this chick is here to fuck with them.
Rudolf can't really hide how much trouble he's in from the wife much longer.
She's cool about it, though. Bigger fish to fry and all. Just let her do the thinking, because she's actually good at it. Time to grease up those chessboards and give 'em a whirl.
If she were legit being named the new successor, the siblings wouldn't really be able to do anything. It could have just been a formal announcement, which would have been easier and less fishy. So if this scheme she must be forming with Kinzo weren't some kind of fraud, she'd have no reason to be pulling this surprise attack.
>
Yes, good. They will now be able to calmly and effectively negotiate their way out of whatever Beatrice is planning, which is definitely just economic trickery. They are so fucking safe.
Anyway, the plan is: don't believe a word she says. If she wants to prove she's related to Kinzo by blood, she can't do that here; they'll demand a DNA test at a proper hospital.
Yes, indeed.
On Rokkenjima, nothing has to be what it seems.
Elsewhere!
If you ask Maria basically any question involving the word “who,” the answer is just about always going to be “Uu-, Beatrice.” She's got to be sick of people asking. She's met Beatrice tons of times, apparently. Every year. Since when, exactly?
Spooky Shit.
Well, a kid doesn't get that good at something without being tutored by an expert. So this witch lives on Rokkenjima? Full-time? Since when?
Never ever.
Well, okay, maybe once. But that's a story for another time.
Witches. Don't. Exist.
>
Rosa wants to open that envelope almost as much as she wants to never ever open it.
Let her just...
Creepy Maria won't stand for it. They're reading the letter at the promised time.
Same goes for whatever's in Maria's envelope.
Gosh, I wonder who taught Maria to have two radically different personalities depending on her mood.
It's like something out of a spy movie; she doesn't know where to find Beatrice, the witch always contacts her.
Kihihihihi is becoming Uu- Part Tuu-: Electric Boogaluu-.
Maria apparently never learned not to take candy or black magic lessons from strangers, so
Rosa's going to be keeping a close eye on her. Beatrice best not fuck with her daughter.
Because somebody has to serve the guest of honor, and of course she absolutely insists it be the one who hates her. This is the finest guest room in the entire mansion, a room Kinzo hasn't allowed anyone (aside from the servants, to dust regularly) into for years. It was reserved for its current occupant.
Of course she has, Kanon, you're not that lucky.
Beatrice likes this Gohda fellow. She'll try to avoid killing him first this time.
[BGM: Organ short #600 million in C minor]
Kanon feels SO AWKWARD. Beatrice loves it when people are uncomfortable.
She's talking about MURDERS, bro. Still, she just kind of babbles on about it and Kanon doesn't know what the hell she means.
Kanon is furniture, without a complete soul. His existence is monotonous, static and joyless.
So... yeah, technically, death has been something he's looked forward to for a long time. That doesn't mean he can be completely relaxed about all this, though.
>Only a human can have regrets. Or at least only someone who's loved a human. Not Kanon, though. He has no such feelings. Because furniture.
Beatrice sure is disappointed; if his fate isn't brutal and ironic, it's just not a good show.
This was precisely Shannon's mistake. She went and tried to enjoy life. For fuck's sake, she got attached to someone. Now dying is going to suck for her! Exactly according to Beatrice's keikaku.
See, Kanon was smart. He didn't get any crazy ideas about ever experiencing happiness, because obviously that means eventually he'll be unhappy too.
Being boneheaded enough to choose that for yourself must be what becoming human entails.
You better leave well enough alone, Kanon. Don't think she won't not kill you. She's crazy.
No way! He's at least alive enough to still be indignant on Shannon's behalf.
Wait, why the epitaph suddenly? What's she getting at...
Oh shit! Well okay that's not actually surprising basically at all, but the sheer cruelty of killing her and George for the Second Twilight...
Shannon is the only thing Kanon cares about. She may just be more furniture, but she's still Beatrice's way in for actually forcing Kanon to feel a regret.
Look, Kanon, there's an easy way to prevent this. SOMEONE's gotta mack on her shoes eventually. She's got a raging fetish for feet and men who argue with her.
Beatrice is enjoying this a little too much, so it'd be rude to hang around. Also intensely uncomfortable.
To the parlor!
Battler's exhausted for reasons nobody else in the room fully understands.
MACKEREL
He's acting pretty weird about taking a simple nap. Hold on, is he...
Hey! Hey! Lay off the fourth wall, you. If you wanna talk to Beatrice, do it in Meta World.
See? You're confusing the rest of the pieces, they think you're on about some philosophical shit about laziness.
>Well, Jessica, you're right. Battler's pretty bad at being a main character.
PAUSE.
Taking a nap on the gameboard is a not-so-subtle hint. What's with all this fucking around? Make your move and murder some people already, he's got places to be. Well, no, he doesn't, but still.
She could have just used the same setup from the first game, but that would have entailed playing it the same way. Of course she gets to try some new tricks. Like, appearing in-person on the gameboard before the murders? Now he doesn't get to flip-flop uselessly about the number of people on the island. It's not a game unless there are a bunch of different moves they can both make.
Yeah, that's pretty much the idea.
As for the blatant use of magic? She showed Rosa a parlor trick with some weird pyrotechnics, maybe. No big deal.
Damn, he sucks at this.
UNPAUSE.
Since Battler's just sleeping on the couch like a slob, everybody else vacates the parlor in various directions.
Without Natsuhi, Krauss and the kids around, Kyrie feels safe telling her story.
They come to largely the same conclusion the letter brought them to last time: this chick is here to fuck with them.
Rudolf can't really hide how much trouble he's in from the wife much longer.
She's cool about it, though. Bigger fish to fry and all. Just let her do the thinking, because she's actually good at it. Time to grease up those chessboards and give 'em a whirl.
If she were legit being named the new successor, the siblings wouldn't really be able to do anything. It could have just been a formal announcement, which would have been easier and less fishy. So if this scheme she must be forming with Kinzo weren't some kind of fraud, she'd have no reason to be pulling this surprise attack.
>Yes, good. They will now be able to calmly and effectively negotiate their way out of whatever Beatrice is planning, which is definitely just economic trickery. They are so fucking safe.
Anyway, the plan is: don't believe a word she says. If she wants to prove she's related to Kinzo by blood, she can't do that here; they'll demand a DNA test at a proper hospital.
Yes, indeed.
On Rokkenjima, nothing has to be what it seems.
Elsewhere!
If you ask Maria basically any question involving the word “who,” the answer is just about always going to be “Uu-, Beatrice.” She's got to be sick of people asking. She's met Beatrice tons of times, apparently. Every year. Since when, exactly?
Spooky Shit.
Well, a kid doesn't get that good at something without being tutored by an expert. So this witch lives on Rokkenjima? Full-time? Since when?
Never ever.
Well, okay, maybe once. But that's a story for another time.
Witches. Don't. Exist.
>Rosa wants to open that envelope almost as much as she wants to never ever open it.
Let her just...
Creepy Maria won't stand for it. They're reading the letter at the promised time.
Same goes for whatever's in Maria's envelope.
Gosh, I wonder who taught Maria to have two radically different personalities depending on her mood.
It's like something out of a spy movie; she doesn't know where to find Beatrice, the witch always contacts her.
Kihihihihi is becoming Uu- Part Tuu-: Electric Boogaluu-.
Maria apparently never learned not to take candy or black magic lessons from strangers, so
Rosa's going to be keeping a close eye on her. Beatrice best not fuck with her daughter.