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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni - Episode 2 Chapter 5
Episode 2 Chapter 5– She is Already Here
The relatives arrive at the rose garden.
SEEN IT. They talk a bit about how much Maria loves Halloween. And witches. Most of them are minimally familiar with the basic themes of Halloween, because Japan.
Looks like someone just accidentally opened up a can of SPOOKY SHIT
It's pretty tame so far.
TRICK OR TREAT, FUCKLORD
Maria is the only nine-year-old in the universe whose reasons for loving Halloween are this complicated.
Hurray! Golden Land! That worked out so well last time.
I'm sorry, Rosa, was this an obvious sore spot for you? You know how that kind of thing gets Eva all excited.
Moving along hahaha! Everybody else goes on ahead of Rosa and Maria. You know. So they're alone.
DANGER DANGER DANGER
Dark Rosa is back.
So much for bonding.
That's just...
Sometimes Dark Rosa actually beats her daughter so long and hard that what makes her stop is the sheer exertion of it.
She leaves Maria behind with her ruined candy.
Whoa, careful there, Rosa, don't wanna be TOO honest. Sometimes it's okay to withhold a little information. Rosa goes to her room, surely to plot more evildoing against Mar—
The only person who hates Dark Rosa more than Maria is Rosa. For now, she can't face Maria. If she were a better person, she'd be out making things right. But it never lasts. All she wants to do is hide and cry and pray that she magically transforms into a good parent.
Back in the garden.
Man, Kanon eavesdrops a lot, doesn't he? It's like all he does, creeping around listening to plot-relevant conversations.
Maria's creepiness is absolutely a defense mechanism, probably.
Maaaaannnnn...
Kanon tries to swap the candies out, but... Maria insists on the one Rosa smashed.
Defense mechanism! Surely! Except Kanon has met the real deal, so maybe Maria has too...
Meanwhile.
Let's be realistic here. None of these losers are ever gonna meet Kinzo.
It's like I said to Rosa earlier, Eva. It's okay to bend the truth a little sometimes. You're just so honest you're freaking us out.
While they have tea, Rosa and Kyrie peel away and end up having a chat.
Rudolf doesn't like Kyrie speaking up during the conference because if it looks like he takes business advice from his wife (which he does, constantly), Krauss and Eva will give him shit. She gets fed up with that attitude sometimes, though.
Of course the storm is going to be exactly the same in all fragments. If they could escape the island, where would the fun be in that?
Does she suspect?
Was there, like, Child Services in Japan in the 80's? Because let's be honest, that'd be the most responsible thing for Rosa to look into.
Kyrie's only recommendation, though, is that she chill the fuck out. All the other siblings are parents, too, and have been for longer. They know what they're talking about when they say Maria isn't growing up too slowly.
Hopefully, Rosa will be able to keep that in mind even if she gets mad...
The conversation's getting started now, as it starts to rain.
Rosa at least remembers quickly, this time.
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
Fuck the conference, she's gotta go get Maria. Again.
Sure enough, Maria is still standing in the exact spot Rosa ordered, holding the candy.
Rosa cries on her small child's shoulder for a while.
And... hm. That's a non-standard response.
Not this shit again.
Humor her, Rosa. Don't argue, or you'll get mad again. Maria's just talking about a weird ghost encounter, anyway. We all know Beatrice can't actually
[BGM: Golden Sneer]
It's... Beatrice. In the flesh, like it ain't even a thing. Also she seems to be wearing some kind of fashionable(?) suit-skirt thing instead of her usual extravagant dress.
Maria presents her with the tribute of one unsmashed jack-o-lantern candy.
Sure. Making something like this good as new takes about as much effort for her as picking it up takes a human. Because of course, magic is real. Close your eyes, Maria.
She throws the candy into the air.
Come, try to remember. What form did you have?
Rosa is TRIPPING BALLS
Maria, on the other hand, considers this AWESOME yet par for the course.
Of course her face is familiar. No one could possibly look at this woman and not immediately recognize her from the portrait in the main hall.
Beatrice's not done giving out gifts, though.
This time, Maria and Rosa each get an envelope. They're joint messengers. Naturally these things still have the wax seal that proves she has the head's ring.
Well.
Genji is unsurprised by her presence.
[BGM: Fishy Aroma]
She's the guest of honor, after all.
That's not very ordinary, thinks Kyrie. That's not ordinary at all.
Kyrie would probably be wise to watch from a distance and not call attention to herself, but it's too late. Beatrice locks eyes with her.
Kyrie recognizes her, too.
Yes, the portrait just changed to reflect her outfit. No, I don't know if that's just an out-of-universe visual aid or a magical transformation or a retcon that Beatrice applied to this fragment or what. The portrait's actually going to change a lot, it's best not to overthink it.
So! Haha. What's your name, stranger.
Consider Kyrie mildly spooked, Spooky Shit. It takes a lot to make her feel a thing more than mildly.
Not like Natsuhi, who Kyrie knows would fire up to at least 10% of her prodigious maximum capacity for Flipping the Fuck Out if someone just up and said they saw the witch.
She'll mention it if it seems appropriate later.
So.
For the time being, it's probably safe to think of Kinzo and Beatrice as exes, and they apparently didn't part on a great note. She finds his miserable obsession comically bittersweet. But whatever. Now she'd better stomp in and go “BOO” and try to give him a heart attack.
Ow! Fucking door!
Oh, well. She'll play by his rules. If they're reunited, if Kinzo lives or dies, who will win the game. The only way to find out any of those things is to play.
The relatives arrive at the rose garden.
SEEN IT. They talk a bit about how much Maria loves Halloween. And witches. Most of them are minimally familiar with the basic themes of Halloween, because Japan.
Looks like someone just accidentally opened up a can of SPOOKY SHIT
It's pretty tame so far.
TRICK OR TREAT, FUCKLORD
Maria is the only nine-year-old in the universe whose reasons for loving Halloween are this complicated.
Hurray! Golden Land! That worked out so well last time.
I'm sorry, Rosa, was this an obvious sore spot for you? You know how that kind of thing gets Eva all excited.
Moving along hahaha! Everybody else goes on ahead of Rosa and Maria. You know. So they're alone.
DANGER DANGER DANGER
Dark Rosa is back.
So much for bonding.
That's just...
Sometimes Dark Rosa actually beats her daughter so long and hard that what makes her stop is the sheer exertion of it.
She leaves Maria behind with her ruined candy.
Whoa, careful there, Rosa, don't wanna be TOO honest. Sometimes it's okay to withhold a little information. Rosa goes to her room, surely to plot more evildoing against Mar—
The only person who hates Dark Rosa more than Maria is Rosa. For now, she can't face Maria. If she were a better person, she'd be out making things right. But it never lasts. All she wants to do is hide and cry and pray that she magically transforms into a good parent.
Back in the garden.
Man, Kanon eavesdrops a lot, doesn't he? It's like all he does, creeping around listening to plot-relevant conversations.
Maria's creepiness is absolutely a defense mechanism, probably.
Maaaaannnnn...
Kanon tries to swap the candies out, but... Maria insists on the one Rosa smashed.
Defense mechanism! Surely! Except Kanon has met the real deal, so maybe Maria has too...
Meanwhile.
Let's be realistic here. None of these losers are ever gonna meet Kinzo.
It's like I said to Rosa earlier, Eva. It's okay to bend the truth a little sometimes. You're just so honest you're freaking us out.
While they have tea, Rosa and Kyrie peel away and end up having a chat.
Rudolf doesn't like Kyrie speaking up during the conference because if it looks like he takes business advice from his wife (which he does, constantly), Krauss and Eva will give him shit. She gets fed up with that attitude sometimes, though.
Of course the storm is going to be exactly the same in all fragments. If they could escape the island, where would the fun be in that?
Does she suspect?
Was there, like, Child Services in Japan in the 80's? Because let's be honest, that'd be the most responsible thing for Rosa to look into.
Kyrie's only recommendation, though, is that she chill the fuck out. All the other siblings are parents, too, and have been for longer. They know what they're talking about when they say Maria isn't growing up too slowly.
Hopefully, Rosa will be able to keep that in mind even if she gets mad...
The conversation's getting started now, as it starts to rain.
Rosa at least remembers quickly, this time.
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
Fuck the conference, she's gotta go get Maria. Again.
Sure enough, Maria is still standing in the exact spot Rosa ordered, holding the candy.
Rosa cries on her small child's shoulder for a while.
And... hm. That's a non-standard response.
Not this shit again.
Humor her, Rosa. Don't argue, or you'll get mad again. Maria's just talking about a weird ghost encounter, anyway. We all know Beatrice can't actually
[BGM: Golden Sneer]
It's... Beatrice. In the flesh, like it ain't even a thing. Also she seems to be wearing some kind of fashionable(?) suit-skirt thing instead of her usual extravagant dress.
Maria presents her with the tribute of one unsmashed jack-o-lantern candy.
Sure. Making something like this good as new takes about as much effort for her as picking it up takes a human. Because of course, magic is real. Close your eyes, Maria.
She throws the candy into the air.
Come, try to remember. What form did you have?
Rosa is TRIPPING BALLS
Maria, on the other hand, considers this AWESOME yet par for the course.
Of course her face is familiar. No one could possibly look at this woman and not immediately recognize her from the portrait in the main hall.
Beatrice's not done giving out gifts, though.
This time, Maria and Rosa each get an envelope. They're joint messengers. Naturally these things still have the wax seal that proves she has the head's ring.
Well.
Genji is unsurprised by her presence.
[BGM: Fishy Aroma]
She's the guest of honor, after all.
That's not very ordinary, thinks Kyrie. That's not ordinary at all.
Kyrie would probably be wise to watch from a distance and not call attention to herself, but it's too late. Beatrice locks eyes with her.
Kyrie recognizes her, too.
Yes, the portrait just changed to reflect her outfit. No, I don't know if that's just an out-of-universe visual aid or a magical transformation or a retcon that Beatrice applied to this fragment or what. The portrait's actually going to change a lot, it's best not to overthink it.
So! Haha. What's your name, stranger.
Consider Kyrie mildly spooked, Spooky Shit. It takes a lot to make her feel a thing more than mildly.
Not like Natsuhi, who Kyrie knows would fire up to at least 10% of her prodigious maximum capacity for Flipping the Fuck Out if someone just up and said they saw the witch.
She'll mention it if it seems appropriate later.
So.
For the time being, it's probably safe to think of Kinzo and Beatrice as exes, and they apparently didn't part on a great note. She finds his miserable obsession comically bittersweet. But whatever. Now she'd better stomp in and go “BOO” and try to give him a heart attack.
Ow! Fucking door!
Oh, well. She'll play by his rules. If they're reunited, if Kinzo lives or dies, who will win the game. The only way to find out any of those things is to play.