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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni - Episode 2 Chapter 14
Episode 2 Chapter 14 – Battler is Incompetent
[BGM: Dead Angle]
The events that have just transpired are proving extraordinarily difficult to adequately explain to Rosa. See, the witnesses are all absolutely positive it wasn't actually Kanon, so they have to assure her it wasn't Kanon, but they also have to admit they thought it was Kanon to explain why they were trying to help it, and also they have to claim it somehow ran away in a direction they don't know or something. If they try to tell her Nanjo and Kumasawa were murdered by a ghost zombie goat demon taking Kanon's form which then exploded into disappearing butterflies, Rosa will seriously just fucking shoot everyone here right now.
It's a flimsy-ass story, though, and Dark Rosa is losing her patience anyway.
Battler intervenes, but giving them more time doesn't seem to be helping them articulate a story. This is... quite the rock and the hard place. There's zero chance Rosa would ever even consider believing the truth because the truth is insane, but they can't come up with a lie that makes any sense either, nor even an excuse for why exactly they're so confused.
Nobody can say anything but “I saw it right in front of me with my own eyes, but I still have no fucking idea.”
Of course the demon being disguised as Kanon served exactly this purpose. Rosa's convinced it was him, confusion be damned.
But fuck this noise. As Supreme Ruler of the survivors, Rosa demands to check out the crime scene.
She shepherds everyone to the servants' quarters. She walks in the back, having the gun and all.
Dammit, George, Maria wants to bathe in the blood of the sacrifices too!
Ohohohoho what are the odds! The bodies are gone. Goddammit, Beato.
Because in this game, literally everything of note has a brand new closed room attached to it.
Battler has got the worst headache.
Well, that explains that much, surely! They can't check Nanjo's missing body just to make sure the key is gone, but still. PAUSE.
Shit, it's always something.
This whole “It wasn't a witch OR one of the 18” thing bit Battler on the ass a long time ago. It's been chewing for a while now.
UNPAUSE.
Oh look, another letter.
Oh for god's sake, that's not even fair.
PAUSE.
[BGM: Organ short #600 million in C minor]
Beato trolls him a bit.
Headache headache headache. Uhhhhhhhh...
Yeah, you probably should. So okay, Battler, what do we do?
Sounds about right.
An epiphany?!?
Nitpicking her wording!
THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTH
Why do I even bother. Didn't I say something about being careful of red traps, Battler?
He's opened the fucking floodgates. It's a red truth onslaught.
I—well—okay insulting someone in red is considered EXTREMELY bad form. It is also considered the highest order of sick burn achievable within the scope of sentient experience.
I'm on your side and all, Battler, but I kind of feel obligated within my soul to high-five Beatrice right now. Okay? Up high! Yes, awesome.
Oh come on, dude, don't be such a baby, that was great.
Seriously, though, Battler's kind of fucked.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
So fucked.
Fucked.
Yeah, she's multiplying herself to troll him from different angles now. Also; imperative statements, laughter, promises and requests in red: all bad form. Not against the rules, but definitely bad form.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
UNPAUSE.
[BGM: system0]
Oh, it's this scene again.
Rosa's done with the servants. She's putting all of them on trial.
Slightly unreasonable condition!
...Again. She's got the gun. That should be the end of all discussion, as far as she's concerned.
...Wow. I... wouldn't have expected that from Gohda. I guess life-or-death situations bring out the worst in some people, but the best in others. This warrants a single official use of the designation “Brohda.”
But, fuck. Battler's will is breaking.
Genji's literally indestructible composure once again weathers these accusations easily. He tries to lead Shannon and Gohda out of the room without stirring Rosa up any further...
If you're so inclined, you can think of this as all being Battler's fault for not being able to solve the mystery. Battler is perhaps so inclined.
This is a really shitty weekend.
Well, she seems sorry.
Now Rosa controls all the master keys. Of course, she still doesn't want to see any of the servants again until the boat and the police come.
She stores the keys in Maria's bag to make it easy to keep an eye on them.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
Creepy Maria vs. Dark Rosa! The match of the decade!
Maria opens with a perfectly executed Spooky Shit rant! Rosa goes to counter with her patented slap in the face--
Battler has had it up to HERE, however.
Not just with the child abuse. With his own fight.
...The emotional torture is too much for him.
Battler's not... actually giving up. He just wants a break, and to make peace with Maria.
His stupidity wrote a check his willpower might not be able to cash. Beatrice has reduced him to crying on the shoulder of a child; he's not broken, but he's being held together by a thread.
The remaining servants are exiled.
George is, of course, staying with Shannon. The group in the parlor will just be Rosa, Battler, and Maria.
That's pretty pathetic.
Bye...
SUCKEEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSSS
Rosa spent a lot of time expressing remorse as the servants left, but she doesn't give a fuck.
Putting on a meek, pleasant face to hide Dark Rosa's talons is how she's lived basically her entire life. And Dark Rosa trusts precisely. Fucking. Nobody.
Rosa seemed to accept it last night or something(?), but she's in no mood whatsoever to believe in Beatrice now. And of course, there's still the issue of finishing off Battler.
Beato is going to make him her slave.
Again with the foot thing.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
[BGM: Dead Angle]
The events that have just transpired are proving extraordinarily difficult to adequately explain to Rosa. See, the witnesses are all absolutely positive it wasn't actually Kanon, so they have to assure her it wasn't Kanon, but they also have to admit they thought it was Kanon to explain why they were trying to help it, and also they have to claim it somehow ran away in a direction they don't know or something. If they try to tell her Nanjo and Kumasawa were murdered by a ghost zombie goat demon taking Kanon's form which then exploded into disappearing butterflies, Rosa will seriously just fucking shoot everyone here right now.
It's a flimsy-ass story, though, and Dark Rosa is losing her patience anyway.
Battler intervenes, but giving them more time doesn't seem to be helping them articulate a story. This is... quite the rock and the hard place. There's zero chance Rosa would ever even consider believing the truth because the truth is insane, but they can't come up with a lie that makes any sense either, nor even an excuse for why exactly they're so confused.
Nobody can say anything but “I saw it right in front of me with my own eyes, but I still have no fucking idea.”
Of course the demon being disguised as Kanon served exactly this purpose. Rosa's convinced it was him, confusion be damned.
But fuck this noise. As Supreme Ruler of the survivors, Rosa demands to check out the crime scene.
She shepherds everyone to the servants' quarters. She walks in the back, having the gun and all.
Dammit, George, Maria wants to bathe in the blood of the sacrifices too!
Ohohohoho what are the odds! The bodies are gone. Goddammit, Beato.
Because in this game, literally everything of note has a brand new closed room attached to it.
Battler has got the worst headache.
Well, that explains that much, surely! They can't check Nanjo's missing body just to make sure the key is gone, but still. PAUSE.
Shit, it's always something.
This whole “It wasn't a witch OR one of the 18” thing bit Battler on the ass a long time ago. It's been chewing for a while now.
UNPAUSE.
Oh look, another letter.
Oh for god's sake, that's not even fair.
PAUSE.
[BGM: Organ short #600 million in C minor]
Beato trolls him a bit.
Headache headache headache. Uhhhhhhhh...
Yeah, you probably should. So okay, Battler, what do we do?
Sounds about right.
An epiphany?!?
Nitpicking her wording!
THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTH
Why do I even bother. Didn't I say something about being careful of red traps, Battler?
He's opened the fucking floodgates. It's a red truth onslaught.
I—well—okay insulting someone in red is considered EXTREMELY bad form. It is also considered the highest order of sick burn achievable within the scope of sentient experience.
I'm on your side and all, Battler, but I kind of feel obligated within my soul to high-five Beatrice right now. Okay? Up high! Yes, awesome.
Oh come on, dude, don't be such a baby, that was great.
Seriously, though, Battler's kind of fucked.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
So fucked.
Fucked.
Yeah, she's multiplying herself to troll him from different angles now. Also; imperative statements, laughter, promises and requests in red: all bad form. Not against the rules, but definitely bad form.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
UNPAUSE.
[BGM: system0]
Oh, it's this scene again.
Rosa's done with the servants. She's putting all of them on trial.
Slightly unreasonable condition!
...Again. She's got the gun. That should be the end of all discussion, as far as she's concerned.
...Wow. I... wouldn't have expected that from Gohda. I guess life-or-death situations bring out the worst in some people, but the best in others. This warrants a single official use of the designation “Brohda.”
But, fuck. Battler's will is breaking.
Genji's literally indestructible composure once again weathers these accusations easily. He tries to lead Shannon and Gohda out of the room without stirring Rosa up any further...
If you're so inclined, you can think of this as all being Battler's fault for not being able to solve the mystery. Battler is perhaps so inclined.
This is a really shitty weekend.
Well, she seems sorry.
Now Rosa controls all the master keys. Of course, she still doesn't want to see any of the servants again until the boat and the police come.
She stores the keys in Maria's bag to make it easy to keep an eye on them.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
Creepy Maria vs. Dark Rosa! The match of the decade!
Maria opens with a perfectly executed Spooky Shit rant! Rosa goes to counter with her patented slap in the face--
Battler has had it up to HERE, however.
Not just with the child abuse. With his own fight.
...The emotional torture is too much for him.
Battler's not... actually giving up. He just wants a break, and to make peace with Maria.
His stupidity wrote a check his willpower might not be able to cash. Beatrice has reduced him to crying on the shoulder of a child; he's not broken, but he's being held together by a thread.
The remaining servants are exiled.
George is, of course, staying with Shannon. The group in the parlor will just be Rosa, Battler, and Maria.
That's pretty pathetic.
Bye...
SUCKEEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSSS
Rosa spent a lot of time expressing remorse as the servants left, but she doesn't give a fuck.
Putting on a meek, pleasant face to hide Dark Rosa's talons is how she's lived basically her entire life. And Dark Rosa trusts precisely. Fucking. Nobody.
Rosa seemed to accept it last night or something(?), but she's in no mood whatsoever to believe in Beatrice now. And of course, there's still the issue of finishing off Battler.
Beato is going to make him her slave.
Again with the foot thing.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]