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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni: Episode 1 Chapter 3
Episode 1 Chapter 3 – TN: “Boku wa kagu desu” means “................................Furniture”
The boat is finally ashore on Rokkenjima, and look who it is on the docks! More characters!
Toshiro Gohda
Gourmet Chef
Specialty: Food Porn
Battler hasn't met Gohda before now, since he's a fairly new servant! But he's about fourteen feet tall and decently popular with the rest of the family. He apparently used to work in a fancy hotel, so he's pretty profesional about his job and acts very polite and formal with everyone, in contrast with Kumasawa.
It is possible that he mostly volunteered to come greet everyone at the docks in order to brown-nose.
And there goes the boat! Nobody's gettin' off this rock for a few days! Ha! Haha! Aha.
Battler conveniently drops the title, sort of. And again displays his impressively similar mental state to his preteen cousin. Then he jokes that they're all gone because Jessica ate them, and Maria does what she do and takes it literally.
BFFs. However, they're being silly, so George has to step in and put an end to their shenanigans. Apparently the seagulls just like to hide before a big storm.
Rosa compliments Battler and George for both being good with kids, but Rudolf is sick to death of all this fucking character development and wants to get to the mansion already.
It's a bit of a hike, but at the end, the Ushiromiya mansion, guesthouse, and gardens await.
Everyone has kind of a boner for the flowers, so they stop to do some gazing. In the process, Maria finds a single rose that's not doing too hot.
The other cousins try to convince her it's not a terribly big deal that one flower is withering, but Maria's making it a thing, so George comes up with a solution.
He marks that rose as Maria's so that she and he can take care of it for the duration of the conference. The prospect of playing plant nurse cheers Maria up. Bad feels averted.
Suddenly!
He's clearly still wearing his hat, okay, but
Kanon
Furniture
Specialties: Angst, comfort, lower back support
It's another servant Battler doesn't recognize. This one's shrimpy and very young at that—he's from the orphanage the Ushiromiya family runs, the Fukuin House. All the kids there get to work for the family for high wages until they reach adulthood, at which point they take their savings and fairly prestigious experience and go on to do what they will in the world. In other words, Kinzo Ushiromiya figured out how to staff his mansion with obedient orphans and make it a form of philanthropy. Kanon himself seems very serious and very mopey.
Get used to those 5x ellipses followed by commas.
And that catchphrase.
Jessica, at least, seems to like him.
Gohda, being a perfectionist when it comes to servitude, isn't crazy about Kanon's gloominess. Kanon just tries to get back to work...
Gohda doesn't want any non-servants to help, but Battler is pretty staunchly of the opinion that rich people are supposed to make a general effort to be nice to people too.
Kind of a stiff atmosphere with the servants on Rokkenjima, though, huh. Let's just move on.
As they get settled, off in the distance...
Kinda bein' weird there, Kanon!
But back to everybody else. The guesthouse is yet another thing that wasn't around last time Battler was here. It seems Jessica's dad has a vague inkling to put an end to Rokkenjima's role as nothing more than a secluded family home and open up a tropical resort, but until that can materialize, they're putting the building to use once a year for the visiting relatives during the family conference.
It's altogether pretty snazzy.
Battler gets one big warning, now that everybody's here, not to be a jackass in front of Kinzo Crankypants Ushiromiya.
Which probably won't be a problem, because they're not especially hopeful that they'll see much of Kinzo. He's gone full recluse in his last years.
Jessica, can you just. Can you not? Just stop doing and saying the things that you do and say, all of them. Same goes double for you, Battler.
But, well, anyway, Jessica has more to worry about regarding Kinzo than the other cousins, considering she's part of the main family and not a branch (not to mention living with him year-round).
The adults have to go into the mansion and meet up with the main family about now, but the cousins decide to stay at the guesthouse and catch up for now.
Let's follow them.
Natsuhi Ushiromiya
Housewife
Specialty: Suffering
Natsuhi is Jessica's mother. Caring and dedicated to the family, but very concerned with appearances, she gives Jessica a lot of trouble for not acting proper and is incredibly tense at every conference about not looking bad in front of the relatives—one in particular. She goes overboard on being strict with the servants, not so much because she looks down on them as because she's the one who comes under the most fire if something in the house isn't perfect when guests are over. Altogether, though, she means well and works hard, despite very frequently looking like she's trying to sneeze but can't.
Rosa continues to hand out presents like one of Santa's elves who doesn't realize it's still just October.
And Eva continues to mock and snipe in... good... humor...?
With some effort, Natsuhi pretends that was part of a polite conversation, which continues from there.
Hideyoshi begins praising George...
Eva.
The effort to treat each other like adults continues, but Rudolf subtly lets Kyrie and Rosa know they're accidentally tiptoeing with a faux pas.
I am beginning to sense a small amount of bad blood here. Finally, the tea arrives.
Shannon
Furniture
Specialty: Feelings
Shannon is a slightly older Fukuin House servant who's been working at the mansion for a full ten years. She's basically Kanon's adoptive sister, and Jessica's best friend. She's kind of an expert on love and likes listening to people's problems; she's very dependable as a person, but less so as a servant. Late service like this is pretty typical, as are accidents and improper cleanings. As a result, she's a lot more timid around her employers than her equals, with whom she's surprisingly outspoken.
A food chain is beginning to emerge here. Eva trolls Natsuhi, Natsuhi takes it out on Shannon.
Kyrie tries to give Shannon an opening to show off, but it backfires. Eva literally laughs out loud.
Silver spoons are used to check for poison, since the silver itself is supposed to have a reaction. Eva is totally getting off on this.
Rudolf and Hideyoshi carefully toe the line between intervening in the ticking drama bomb and pretending everybody's just joking around. With all the tea served, Shannon leaves the room in a fashion that could probably be described as fleeing.
Kanon's waiting for her in the hall with his special brand of reassurance: hating everyone else involved! That Guy is Gohda; he was actually the one who was supposed to be making the tea, so it's his fault it was late, but he made sure to send Shannon out with it instead. Part of being a professional is being a huge tool and shifting blame, I guess.
Genji shows up and, as the head of the servants, instructs Shannon to go help in the kitchen, but Kanon wants him to do something about Gohda. And maybe Natsuhi and Eva if he can get away with it. But of course, nothing happens.
The family might like Gohda because he incessantly kisses their asses, but among the servants he's well-known for being a competitive, bossy prick. Kumasawa feels really sorry for Kanon and Shannon, indeed. They've got a tough lot in life, and she feels that all she can do is watch over them...
The boat is finally ashore on Rokkenjima, and look who it is on the docks! More characters!
Toshiro Gohda
Gourmet Chef
Specialty: Food Porn
Battler hasn't met Gohda before now, since he's a fairly new servant! But he's about fourteen feet tall and decently popular with the rest of the family. He apparently used to work in a fancy hotel, so he's pretty profesional about his job and acts very polite and formal with everyone, in contrast with Kumasawa.
It is possible that he mostly volunteered to come greet everyone at the docks in order to brown-nose.
And there goes the boat! Nobody's gettin' off this rock for a few days! Ha! Haha! Aha.
Battler conveniently drops the title, sort of. And again displays his impressively similar mental state to his preteen cousin. Then he jokes that they're all gone because Jessica ate them, and Maria does what she do and takes it literally.
BFFs. However, they're being silly, so George has to step in and put an end to their shenanigans. Apparently the seagulls just like to hide before a big storm.
Rosa compliments Battler and George for both being good with kids, but Rudolf is sick to death of all this fucking character development and wants to get to the mansion already.
It's a bit of a hike, but at the end, the Ushiromiya mansion, guesthouse, and gardens await.
Everyone has kind of a boner for the flowers, so they stop to do some gazing. In the process, Maria finds a single rose that's not doing too hot.
The other cousins try to convince her it's not a terribly big deal that one flower is withering, but Maria's making it a thing, so George comes up with a solution.
He marks that rose as Maria's so that she and he can take care of it for the duration of the conference. The prospect of playing plant nurse cheers Maria up. Bad feels averted.
Suddenly!
He's clearly still wearing his hat, okay, but
Kanon
Furniture
Specialties: Angst, comfort, lower back support
It's another servant Battler doesn't recognize. This one's shrimpy and very young at that—he's from the orphanage the Ushiromiya family runs, the Fukuin House. All the kids there get to work for the family for high wages until they reach adulthood, at which point they take their savings and fairly prestigious experience and go on to do what they will in the world. In other words, Kinzo Ushiromiya figured out how to staff his mansion with obedient orphans and make it a form of philanthropy. Kanon himself seems very serious and very mopey.
Get used to those 5x ellipses followed by commas.
And that catchphrase.
Jessica, at least, seems to like him.
Gohda, being a perfectionist when it comes to servitude, isn't crazy about Kanon's gloominess. Kanon just tries to get back to work...
Gohda doesn't want any non-servants to help, but Battler is pretty staunchly of the opinion that rich people are supposed to make a general effort to be nice to people too.
Kind of a stiff atmosphere with the servants on Rokkenjima, though, huh. Let's just move on.
As they get settled, off in the distance...
Kinda bein' weird there, Kanon!
But back to everybody else. The guesthouse is yet another thing that wasn't around last time Battler was here. It seems Jessica's dad has a vague inkling to put an end to Rokkenjima's role as nothing more than a secluded family home and open up a tropical resort, but until that can materialize, they're putting the building to use once a year for the visiting relatives during the family conference.
It's altogether pretty snazzy.
Battler gets one big warning, now that everybody's here, not to be a jackass in front of Kinzo Crankypants Ushiromiya.
Which probably won't be a problem, because they're not especially hopeful that they'll see much of Kinzo. He's gone full recluse in his last years.
Jessica, can you just. Can you not? Just stop doing and saying the things that you do and say, all of them. Same goes double for you, Battler.
But, well, anyway, Jessica has more to worry about regarding Kinzo than the other cousins, considering she's part of the main family and not a branch (not to mention living with him year-round).
The adults have to go into the mansion and meet up with the main family about now, but the cousins decide to stay at the guesthouse and catch up for now.
Let's follow them.
Natsuhi Ushiromiya
Housewife
Specialty: Suffering
Natsuhi is Jessica's mother. Caring and dedicated to the family, but very concerned with appearances, she gives Jessica a lot of trouble for not acting proper and is incredibly tense at every conference about not looking bad in front of the relatives—one in particular. She goes overboard on being strict with the servants, not so much because she looks down on them as because she's the one who comes under the most fire if something in the house isn't perfect when guests are over. Altogether, though, she means well and works hard, despite very frequently looking like she's trying to sneeze but can't.
Rosa continues to hand out presents like one of Santa's elves who doesn't realize it's still just October.
And Eva continues to mock and snipe in... good... humor...?
With some effort, Natsuhi pretends that was part of a polite conversation, which continues from there.
Hideyoshi begins praising George...
Eva.
The effort to treat each other like adults continues, but Rudolf subtly lets Kyrie and Rosa know they're accidentally tiptoeing with a faux pas.
I am beginning to sense a small amount of bad blood here. Finally, the tea arrives.
Shannon
Furniture
Specialty: Feelings
Shannon is a slightly older Fukuin House servant who's been working at the mansion for a full ten years. She's basically Kanon's adoptive sister, and Jessica's best friend. She's kind of an expert on love and likes listening to people's problems; she's very dependable as a person, but less so as a servant. Late service like this is pretty typical, as are accidents and improper cleanings. As a result, she's a lot more timid around her employers than her equals, with whom she's surprisingly outspoken.
A food chain is beginning to emerge here. Eva trolls Natsuhi, Natsuhi takes it out on Shannon.
Kyrie tries to give Shannon an opening to show off, but it backfires. Eva literally laughs out loud.
Silver spoons are used to check for poison, since the silver itself is supposed to have a reaction. Eva is totally getting off on this.
Rudolf and Hideyoshi carefully toe the line between intervening in the ticking drama bomb and pretending everybody's just joking around. With all the tea served, Shannon leaves the room in a fashion that could probably be described as fleeing.
Kanon's waiting for her in the hall with his special brand of reassurance: hating everyone else involved! That Guy is Gohda; he was actually the one who was supposed to be making the tea, so it's his fault it was late, but he made sure to send Shannon out with it instead. Part of being a professional is being a huge tool and shifting blame, I guess.
Genji shows up and, as the head of the servants, instructs Shannon to go help in the kitchen, but Kanon wants him to do something about Gohda. And maybe Natsuhi and Eva if he can get away with it. But of course, nothing happens.
The family might like Gohda because he incessantly kisses their asses, but among the servants he's well-known for being a competitive, bossy prick. Kumasawa feels really sorry for Kanon and Shannon, indeed. They've got a tough lot in life, and she feels that all she can do is watch over them...