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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni - Episode 3 Chapter 11
Episode 3 Chapter 11 – Oh My God, Is Somebody Finally Solving the Fucking Thing?
Maria Ushiromiya: queen of all priorities.
With the other kids accompanying Maria and Nanjo going off (to plot?!?), the parents get more time to hold another conference.
Well that's not very sinister. What was Nanjo's problem?
Everybody seems to want the first shift keeping watch, though. Exhausted as they are, nobody wants to try to get to sleep while there's murdering going on.
It's finally time to get cracking on the riddle, anyway. Even though they insist they're just doing it to kill time. These fucking people.
They'll need to work together if they want enough brain power for it. None of them could ever solve it before by working alone.
Well, that and they have Female Macgyver on the case. So, three parts to the riddle: que?
Hm, yes, makes sense. They try to tackle the first part on its own, first.
So, what? Where did he grow up?
Come on, don't tapdance around giving us any actual hints! As a reminder of something I said in EP1, one probably needs intimidate knowledge of Kinzo's past to solve this thing on top of being fluent in both Japanese and English. Kinzo is buuuuuuuulllllllllllllllllssssssssshhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiitttt.
Was bullshit. Whatever. I'm sure he'll be alive again in EP4.
Nobody knows. Dammit.
Kyrie's got another idea, though.
And now we're getting into strictly Japanese cultural hints. I don't even know what a sweetfish is, aside from a fish that I guess tastes sweet compared to other fish???
So it's.. a metaphor for... salt! “Sweetfish river” refers to salt mines! Fucking bingo!
Or that! Only one problem: Kinzo wrote this.
And Kinzo has literally described Maria as “obscene to the eyes” before.
So, as much logical sense as Rosa's idea makes for a riddle, it clashes with Kinzo's motives and personality on multiple levels. Next, Kyrie?
I'd criticize these guys for getting nowhere, but spoiler warning: I've read the solution to the epitaph being spelled out in detail, and I still don't know what the fuck. It's really hard, guys.
Yeah, yeah, murder talk. What does it mean, though?
All the little chessboards in Kyrie's head are turning so fast they have their own magnetic fields.
“Key” can mean a lot of things. Most likely, Kyrie's instinct tells her, the key is a word. Something that will unravel the rest of the riddle.
We need to think of a word that will... select... six things?
On the other hand, geography could factor into the word puzzle, too. Perhaps the word is the name of his hometown? I'unno.
Sometimes I refer to these people collectively as “the adults.” Do you think I should reconsider? Let's just get back on-topic.
That makes sense. A six-letter English word or a six-character Japanese one?
...No. No, word puzzles aren't quite what I'd call stylish in the English-speaking world.
It seems increasingly like the rest of the puzzle will only make sense in the context of figuring out the first part. They're gonna have to deeply contempla--
Goddammit.
Fine. Get food, but then more riddling. I mean it.
So what happened to the mansion=deathmaze thing?
Well, at least Eva's not getting distracted. And she's easily the second-smartest person in the room, so that's good. Too bad she doesn't feel like working with the smartest anymore.
She's dragging Rosa in, though. Don't you have any pride, Rosa? And if not, don't you at least want to be Eva's henchwoman instead of Krauss's?
Whatever. Ushiromiya sisters, combine your powers! Whether one of you wants to or not!
Rosa's input:
Rosa is being meticulously ultrahumble about any ideas she has, because she knows if they turn out to be wrong Eva is liable call her a worthless disgusting moronic waste of flesh. But this is a good catch!
PAUSE.
What? For the love of god, them trying to solve the epitaph was YOUR IDEA.
[BGM: Organ short #200 million in C minor]
Oh, no, wait, she wasn't even paying attention to the gameboard just now. She's just still sulking about getting her ass kicked.
ANTICS
Virgilia's still willing to give her ex-student some needed constructive criticism.
Tormenting Battler was a valid strategy for keeping him off the ball, until she overdid it and he just toughened up in response.
The real problem is, when you get right down to it? Tormenting Battler is all Beato is good at.
Increasingly, you really do get the sense that she thinks she's just playing a fun game.
Whoa, hey, no! No way.
There's only one person she's gonna constantly rescue from their own incompetence, missy!
No. You are a witch. You cannot make puppy eyes at us. Not working on us!
Sigh. Okay, you get one.
Yes, Beato, your tactics for winning this game about the repeated massacre of your opponent's family are too violent.
Misunderstanding... her own game?
Whatchu talkin' bout, Virgilia?
Oh, right, that was how this got started.
I think I get what she's saying. There's no denying it sucks for Beato if Battler doesn't accept her existence. Witches are needy like that. But maybe Battler wouldn't be so hard-line about denying magic if all your uses of magic weren't huge dick moves, maybe.
But bah, nice try, Virgilia. Beato, reforming. It'll be a cold day for pigs to go to sky hell when that happens.
UNPAUSE.
Eva exhausted herself with the epitaph while we weren't paying attention. Would have been nice to see how much progress she made without being interrupted, Beato!
At any rate, EVA will have none of it. BACK TO WORK!
The truth is, Eva was the only one who's really been working on this damn thing almost non-stop since it went up. Two years of thinking, and she's stumped.
She's SO CLOSE NOW though. Just a little more! EVA insists, as is her wont.
She just has to figure out the stupid first part...
Inspiration strikes.
…
Inspiration strikes harder.
No, she's not going to explain what she just realized to us.
But it's massive.
Interesting perspective. But what does she mean?
Think... less clever. Apparently the key to unraveling the riddle from here is something silly. Something insultingly obvious.
TO OUR LOCAL PUBLIC LIBRARY! Or just to the small one near the servant's quarters, that'd make more sense.
This isn't conductive to nobody noticing! (Of note: Natsuhi of all people trying to put a blanket on Eva while she was dozed off.)
This is the most intense, purposeful announcement of a bathroom break in recent memory!
This is where Kinzo's real person books were stored as he gradually ran out of room for them by packing the study with spellbooks.
There's no “I” in “team,” Eva. Fortunately for her, there's certainly no “Rudolf,” “Krauss,” or “Rosa” in it either.
She's gonna solve the epitaph, find the gold, and become rightful head of the family. The opportunity she's been waiting for her entire life is finally within reach. As long as nobody else figures out what she just did...
EVA's policy as always is that men are idiots. Considering the men she's talking about, I can't really argue.
It's an atlas, alright. I won't bother asking what she's looking for.
Or what she just found.
EVA is extremely impatient!
Maybe they're making it obvious what the solution is right now, and I just don't know because they're doing so via Japanese puns.
Something insultingly obvious.
Mixing languages.
Eva has solved the riddle of the epitaph.
Maria Ushiromiya: queen of all priorities.
With the other kids accompanying Maria and Nanjo going off (to plot?!?), the parents get more time to hold another conference.
Well that's not very sinister. What was Nanjo's problem?
Everybody seems to want the first shift keeping watch, though. Exhausted as they are, nobody wants to try to get to sleep while there's murdering going on.
It's finally time to get cracking on the riddle, anyway. Even though they insist they're just doing it to kill time. These fucking people.
They'll need to work together if they want enough brain power for it. None of them could ever solve it before by working alone.
Well, that and they have Female Macgyver on the case. So, three parts to the riddle: que?
Hm, yes, makes sense. They try to tackle the first part on its own, first.
So, what? Where did he grow up?
Come on, don't tapdance around giving us any actual hints! As a reminder of something I said in EP1, one probably needs intimidate knowledge of Kinzo's past to solve this thing on top of being fluent in both Japanese and English. Kinzo is buuuuuuuulllllllllllllllllssssssssshhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiitttt.
Was bullshit. Whatever. I'm sure he'll be alive again in EP4.
Nobody knows. Dammit.
Kyrie's got another idea, though.
And now we're getting into strictly Japanese cultural hints. I don't even know what a sweetfish is, aside from a fish that I guess tastes sweet compared to other fish???
So it's.. a metaphor for... salt! “Sweetfish river” refers to salt mines! Fucking bingo!
Or that! Only one problem: Kinzo wrote this.
And Kinzo has literally described Maria as “obscene to the eyes” before.
So, as much logical sense as Rosa's idea makes for a riddle, it clashes with Kinzo's motives and personality on multiple levels. Next, Kyrie?
I'd criticize these guys for getting nowhere, but spoiler warning: I've read the solution to the epitaph being spelled out in detail, and I still don't know what the fuck. It's really hard, guys.
Yeah, yeah, murder talk. What does it mean, though?
All the little chessboards in Kyrie's head are turning so fast they have their own magnetic fields.
“Key” can mean a lot of things. Most likely, Kyrie's instinct tells her, the key is a word. Something that will unravel the rest of the riddle.
We need to think of a word that will... select... six things?
On the other hand, geography could factor into the word puzzle, too. Perhaps the word is the name of his hometown? I'unno.
Sometimes I refer to these people collectively as “the adults.” Do you think I should reconsider? Let's just get back on-topic.
That makes sense. A six-letter English word or a six-character Japanese one?
...No. No, word puzzles aren't quite what I'd call stylish in the English-speaking world.
It seems increasingly like the rest of the puzzle will only make sense in the context of figuring out the first part. They're gonna have to deeply contempla--
Goddammit.
Fine. Get food, but then more riddling. I mean it.
So what happened to the mansion=deathmaze thing?
Well, at least Eva's not getting distracted. And she's easily the second-smartest person in the room, so that's good. Too bad she doesn't feel like working with the smartest anymore.
She's dragging Rosa in, though. Don't you have any pride, Rosa? And if not, don't you at least want to be Eva's henchwoman instead of Krauss's?
Whatever. Ushiromiya sisters, combine your powers! Whether one of you wants to or not!
Rosa's input:
Rosa is being meticulously ultrahumble about any ideas she has, because she knows if they turn out to be wrong Eva is liable call her a worthless disgusting moronic waste of flesh. But this is a good catch!
PAUSE.
What? For the love of god, them trying to solve the epitaph was YOUR IDEA.
[BGM: Organ short #200 million in C minor]
Oh, no, wait, she wasn't even paying attention to the gameboard just now. She's just still sulking about getting her ass kicked.
ANTICS
Virgilia's still willing to give her ex-student some needed constructive criticism.
Tormenting Battler was a valid strategy for keeping him off the ball, until she overdid it and he just toughened up in response.
The real problem is, when you get right down to it? Tormenting Battler is all Beato is good at.
Increasingly, you really do get the sense that she thinks she's just playing a fun game.
Whoa, hey, no! No way.
There's only one person she's gonna constantly rescue from their own incompetence, missy!
No. You are a witch. You cannot make puppy eyes at us. Not working on us!
Sigh. Okay, you get one.
Yes, Beato, your tactics for winning this game about the repeated massacre of your opponent's family are too violent.
Misunderstanding... her own game?
Whatchu talkin' bout, Virgilia?
Oh, right, that was how this got started.
I think I get what she's saying. There's no denying it sucks for Beato if Battler doesn't accept her existence. Witches are needy like that. But maybe Battler wouldn't be so hard-line about denying magic if all your uses of magic weren't huge dick moves, maybe.
But bah, nice try, Virgilia. Beato, reforming. It'll be a cold day for pigs to go to sky hell when that happens.
UNPAUSE.
Eva exhausted herself with the epitaph while we weren't paying attention. Would have been nice to see how much progress she made without being interrupted, Beato!
At any rate, EVA will have none of it. BACK TO WORK!
The truth is, Eva was the only one who's really been working on this damn thing almost non-stop since it went up. Two years of thinking, and she's stumped.
She's SO CLOSE NOW though. Just a little more! EVA insists, as is her wont.
She just has to figure out the stupid first part...
Inspiration strikes.
…
Inspiration strikes harder.
No, she's not going to explain what she just realized to us.
But it's massive.
Interesting perspective. But what does she mean?
Think... less clever. Apparently the key to unraveling the riddle from here is something silly. Something insultingly obvious.
TO OUR LOCAL PUBLIC LIBRARY! Or just to the small one near the servant's quarters, that'd make more sense.
This isn't conductive to nobody noticing! (Of note: Natsuhi of all people trying to put a blanket on Eva while she was dozed off.)
This is the most intense, purposeful announcement of a bathroom break in recent memory!
This is where Kinzo's real person books were stored as he gradually ran out of room for them by packing the study with spellbooks.
There's no “I” in “team,” Eva. Fortunately for her, there's certainly no “Rudolf,” “Krauss,” or “Rosa” in it either.
She's gonna solve the epitaph, find the gold, and become rightful head of the family. The opportunity she's been waiting for her entire life is finally within reach. As long as nobody else figures out what she just did...
EVA's policy as always is that men are idiots. Considering the men she's talking about, I can't really argue.
It's an atlas, alright. I won't bother asking what she's looking for.
Or what she just found.
EVA is extremely impatient!
Maybe they're making it obvious what the solution is right now, and I just don't know because they're doing so via Japanese puns.
Something insultingly obvious.
Mixing languages.
Eva has solved the riddle of the epitaph.