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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni - Episode 3 Chapter 9
Episode 3 Chapter 9 – I Hope You Like the Phrase “Cat Box” Because It's Not Going Anywhere
Morning! For once, all the parents are alive. Most of them would probably be okay with it being otherwise.
They stayed up all night strategizing to cement their position in the serious business inheritance economics debate that is surely to come. So... how did they not notice the incredibly loud... everything?
But before they can wash up and go sleep all day, they'd better find the source of that weird stonk.
Yep, I sure bet those guys are very alive.
Well, Kinzo was already burned all to shit. Where would you put him? Ronove likes things to be in their proper place. Excellent butler and all.
Oh no it is red paint that looks almost like a magic circle perhaps what kind of ill-mannered prank could this be.
So, probably everybody else is in there?
There are no servants around, guys.
CLOSED ROOMS
Predictably, Eva goes directly to the exact train of thought this murder was intended to violently derail.
Rosa, Hideyoshi and Kyrie go to the guesthouse, Krauss goes to yell into the empty study, and everybody else looks around the mansion.
[BGM: Suspicion]
In the guesthouse...
How did THEY not notice the magic duel? Hell, how did it not wake any remainders who may have been asleep up?
He would be refreshed. I'm watching this one, guys. It's him or one of the family. And you can just see the malice in his droopy little eyes!
Yeah, go figure.
Better go get the keys.
Back in the mansion.
Krauss couldn't reach Kinzo for some mysterious reason, and the search party found several more magic circles.
That many different rooms? Hard mode, man.
Thank you!
I wonder where the master keys and where the individual room keys in question will turn up. Time to break a window to get into the parlor.
And there's nothing in here.
Except her.
[BGM: Golden Slaughterer]
PAUSE.
Don't believe her lies! She's—Battler? Where the hell is Battler?
God, you're a high-maintenance protagonist.
So, Battler, what's your plan?
Do... you have any backup plans?
Christ, even Beato is like “what even is that guy's problem?” That's how bad your current tantrum is, Battler.
His willpower hasn't faltered, but after that massive magicduel, he's really stumped. He needs to get out of Beato's parlor and clear his head.
What, no, come on. I red truthed that you wouldn't give up, jackass. I'll get into a lot of trouble if you do it anyway.
Yes it is. You just have to...
Oh, hey, it's Glinda.
[BGM: Mother]
No he hasn't. He better not have anyway.
You know, Battler, you're missing something important about Beato's game. Maybe Predecessor Beatrice will explain it.
Battler, you didn't quite grasp the nature of magic.
Don't be coy, you'll confuse him.
I will admit, though, that Battler knows a lot more about the history of science than I do.
Aaaaaaaannnnnnnnddd...
Bingo! He's got it! Battler understands! Well, I don't think he understands that he understands, but he does understand.
Predecessor decides to use the braun tube example to make things a little clearer.
Quick quiz. Battler or Predecessor: who's right? And for the record, I will only be accepting answers provided by people who can establish proof that they have personally looked inside a braun tube and found out what was happening.
And that's why this logic doesn't work in the real world. If you have access to a reasonably unlimited amount of information, you can observe why what happens happens. That's the definition of science.
So what is magic?
It's more of a philosophy than a logical loophole like a Devil's Proof.
Magic is what you can project onto the unexplained. That doesn't automatically mean it's not real, though.
Truth is a tricky thing. It doesn't exist until you can verify it. Not all “truths” are created equal. Evidence can lean one way or the other. And when you open Schrodinger's box, all but one generally disappear. But where any uncertainty exists, no explanation is absolute.
So, remember what Battler asked Ronove earlier? Just point-blank “tell me in red if magic is real?”
Yes and no!
Rokkenjima in early October 1986 is a gigantic, well. Cat box. (I'd go with less silly-sounding shorthand, but the novels will be extremely persistent about that terminology.) Nobody really knows what happened to the Ushiromiya family, right?
Here's what you weren't getting, Battler.
Beato can show you whatever the hell she wants. That's the game.
It's her version of events.
When it comes to finding out what the truth is, what matters is the result, and what you personally observe.
You have, right?
YES! 99% of what Beato can show you is just an explanation of what's in the box, Battler. The red truth is one exception; those facts are constants, on which she abdicates the right to use uncertainty and claim that it's all magic. The other exception is observation. Don't trust what Beatrice tells you is happening before the crime scene is discovered. Or, let me just sum this up.
Battler's version of the truth is based on what Piece Battler can personally see. Everything else is a cat box.
In the end, give Battler some credit. The two truths duking it out comes down to just what he thought about this game from the beginning: willpower. There's no opening the catbox. When either player overwhelms their opponent with enough evidence to make them give up and accept their proof, the game is over.
[BGM: Haze]
We made a friend! Predecessor is awesome.
Good... question.
A Dante reference. Legitimately classy. If you're wondering how the hell Battler got “Valkyria” out of it, blame transliteration. In Japanese, they're pronouncing Virgilia something like “Warugiria.”
I'm sure acknowledging Virgilia as an ally is the most bizarrely contradictory thing you'll do in this series, Battler.
Let's hold him to that claim.
Time to get back in the game. Again.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
She just can't control herself.
There's no aftermath of the battle, visually. The way Beatrice told it, that's because the fight was so magical everything fixed itself afterwards.
But Battler's on the Evidence side of the debate. And the evidence suggests that precisely fuckall happened out here, ever.
First of all, you're counting your twilights wrong. Secondly, bullshit.
That battle between Beatrice and Virgilia did happen in the world of magic—the fantasy horror story into which Beatrice wants to turn the murders.
But in the world of science—Battler's mystery story—the “fight” began and ended with the human culprit finding Kumasawa out in the garden and killing her.
Battler could explain what he discussed with Virgilia, but it's more fun to make Beato really fucking confused for once.
They're starting to piece together who's helping him, though.
Now that Battler actually knows the rules Beato decided to barely explain to him as they went along, the tables (with chessboards on them) have finally been turned!
Morning! For once, all the parents are alive. Most of them would probably be okay with it being otherwise.
They stayed up all night strategizing to cement their position in the serious business inheritance economics debate that is surely to come. So... how did they not notice the incredibly loud... everything?
But before they can wash up and go sleep all day, they'd better find the source of that weird stonk.
Yep, I sure bet those guys are very alive.
Well, Kinzo was already burned all to shit. Where would you put him? Ronove likes things to be in their proper place. Excellent butler and all.
Oh no it is red paint that looks almost like a magic circle perhaps what kind of ill-mannered prank could this be.
So, probably everybody else is in there?
There are no servants around, guys.
CLOSED ROOMS
Predictably, Eva goes directly to the exact train of thought this murder was intended to violently derail.
Rosa, Hideyoshi and Kyrie go to the guesthouse, Krauss goes to yell into the empty study, and everybody else looks around the mansion.
[BGM: Suspicion]
In the guesthouse...
How did THEY not notice the magic duel? Hell, how did it not wake any remainders who may have been asleep up?
He would be refreshed. I'm watching this one, guys. It's him or one of the family. And you can just see the malice in his droopy little eyes!
Yeah, go figure.
Better go get the keys.
Back in the mansion.
Krauss couldn't reach Kinzo for some mysterious reason, and the search party found several more magic circles.
That many different rooms? Hard mode, man.
Thank you!
I wonder where the master keys and where the individual room keys in question will turn up. Time to break a window to get into the parlor.
And there's nothing in here.
Except her.
[BGM: Golden Slaughterer]
PAUSE.
Don't believe her lies! She's—Battler? Where the hell is Battler?
God, you're a high-maintenance protagonist.
So, Battler, what's your plan?
Do... you have any backup plans?
Christ, even Beato is like “what even is that guy's problem?” That's how bad your current tantrum is, Battler.
His willpower hasn't faltered, but after that massive magicduel, he's really stumped. He needs to get out of Beato's parlor and clear his head.
What, no, come on. I red truthed that you wouldn't give up, jackass. I'll get into a lot of trouble if you do it anyway.
Yes it is. You just have to...
Oh, hey, it's Glinda.
[BGM: Mother]
No he hasn't. He better not have anyway.
You know, Battler, you're missing something important about Beato's game. Maybe Predecessor Beatrice will explain it.
Battler, you didn't quite grasp the nature of magic.
Don't be coy, you'll confuse him.
I will admit, though, that Battler knows a lot more about the history of science than I do.
Aaaaaaaannnnnnnnddd...
Bingo! He's got it! Battler understands! Well, I don't think he understands that he understands, but he does understand.
Predecessor decides to use the braun tube example to make things a little clearer.
Quick quiz. Battler or Predecessor: who's right? And for the record, I will only be accepting answers provided by people who can establish proof that they have personally looked inside a braun tube and found out what was happening.
And that's why this logic doesn't work in the real world. If you have access to a reasonably unlimited amount of information, you can observe why what happens happens. That's the definition of science.
So what is magic?
It's more of a philosophy than a logical loophole like a Devil's Proof.
Magic is what you can project onto the unexplained. That doesn't automatically mean it's not real, though.
Truth is a tricky thing. It doesn't exist until you can verify it. Not all “truths” are created equal. Evidence can lean one way or the other. And when you open Schrodinger's box, all but one generally disappear. But where any uncertainty exists, no explanation is absolute.
So, remember what Battler asked Ronove earlier? Just point-blank “tell me in red if magic is real?”
Yes and no!
Rokkenjima in early October 1986 is a gigantic, well. Cat box. (I'd go with less silly-sounding shorthand, but the novels will be extremely persistent about that terminology.) Nobody really knows what happened to the Ushiromiya family, right?
Here's what you weren't getting, Battler.
Beato can show you whatever the hell she wants. That's the game.
It's her version of events.
When it comes to finding out what the truth is, what matters is the result, and what you personally observe.
You have, right?
YES! 99% of what Beato can show you is just an explanation of what's in the box, Battler. The red truth is one exception; those facts are constants, on which she abdicates the right to use uncertainty and claim that it's all magic. The other exception is observation. Don't trust what Beatrice tells you is happening before the crime scene is discovered. Or, let me just sum this up.
Battler's version of the truth is based on what Piece Battler can personally see. Everything else is a cat box.
In the end, give Battler some credit. The two truths duking it out comes down to just what he thought about this game from the beginning: willpower. There's no opening the catbox. When either player overwhelms their opponent with enough evidence to make them give up and accept their proof, the game is over.
[BGM: Haze]
We made a friend! Predecessor is awesome.
Good... question.
A Dante reference. Legitimately classy. If you're wondering how the hell Battler got “Valkyria” out of it, blame transliteration. In Japanese, they're pronouncing Virgilia something like “Warugiria.”
I'm sure acknowledging Virgilia as an ally is the most bizarrely contradictory thing you'll do in this series, Battler.
Let's hold him to that claim.
Time to get back in the game. Again.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
She just can't control herself.
There's no aftermath of the battle, visually. The way Beatrice told it, that's because the fight was so magical everything fixed itself afterwards.
But Battler's on the Evidence side of the debate. And the evidence suggests that precisely fuckall happened out here, ever.
First of all, you're counting your twilights wrong. Secondly, bullshit.
That battle between Beatrice and Virgilia did happen in the world of magic—the fantasy horror story into which Beatrice wants to turn the murders.
But in the world of science—Battler's mystery story—the “fight” began and ended with the human culprit finding Kumasawa out in the garden and killing her.
Battler could explain what he discussed with Virgilia, but it's more fun to make Beato really fucking confused for once.
They're starting to piece together who's helping him, though.
Now that Battler actually knows the rules Beato decided to barely explain to him as they went along, the tables (with chessboards on them) have finally been turned!