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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni - Episode 3 Chapter 8
Episode 3 Chapter 8 – Now She's Just Showing Off
Yes, yes. Sometimes windows would open and small things would be misplaced, the servants got superstitious about it, Natsuhi demanded an end to the shenanigans. Nothing big.
The atmosphere of the mansion at night creeps Gohda the hell out, though. But surely it's nothing to worry about! Dear innocent Gohda will come to no harm.
Perhaps a bat got in somehow.
As long as there's absolutely nothing capable of harming Gohda, my favorite character, whose wellbeing I am more concerned about than anyone else's, everything will be fine.
So what's in there?
Phew! See, Gohda? There is nothing to be afraid of!
[BGM: Red Dread]
GASP
GOHDA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
Curse your total expendability!
And now they're going after poor old helpless Kumasawa! If Battler finally does accept that the culprit must be one of the 18, Beato wants to narrow it down to a non-crazy-old-hermit member of the family. Or Nanjo. But Nanjo couldn't be the culprit.
Or could he?
Anyway, right, murder, Kumasawa.
Kumasawa, look out!
How could they go after a sweet, defenseless old woman?
TINK
TINK TINK TINK
Well. Defenseless may have been an exaggeration.
But wait, Kumasawa doesn't have the One-Winged Eagle on her clothes. She can't be more of Kinzo's furniture, just an oblivious human servant like Gohda, right?
Excuse me.
Human? Furniture?
She's a fucking witch.
Well. Kind of. Kumasawa is the former Beatrice, but she's also emphatically not that person. Kind of like what Genji and Ronove have going on, not to make that too explicit or anything. It's complicated.
So! Catching up. Might be kind of awkward after Beato tried to murder her vessel.
Also after she just, like, generally went against everything the old lady ever taught her, as hard as possible, for centuries.
Teachertrice's really got to do something about her student.
And at Witch School, discipline tends to take the form of magical ass-beatings.
Shit's gonna go down hard.
[BGM: Fake Red Shoes]
I'm just gonna stand back and do my duty as an impartial narrator by not taking siGO PREDECESSOR GO
PAUSE.
A swordfight between furniture gets a little weird, but a magical duel between two witches is almost impossible to follow. It's two people who can do essentially anything they can conceive with a wave of the hands trying to kill each other. We're lucky they're just blasting each other and defending instead of summoning black holes or something.
Predecessor is a little too busy to get acquainted with you right now, Battler. Just sit back and enjoy the extremely blatant extended display of impossible-to-fake magic you're going to have to prove was somehow faked.
UNPAUSE.
Beato is dominating the offensive so far, but she knows her teacher is an expert at barriers. Nothing has gotten through.
Well. Obviously Kinzo had some friends in the military supply industry install those underground, for about one entire instance of his fortune each. Would you put it past him? You'd better fucking not.
Incidentaly, a “merute” is a meter. It's apparently a Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind reference.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
That's a lot of gun!
Predecessor is unconcerned.
DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA
I sure hope teach has a plan to not die here!
Apparently summoning large towers with very specific purposes is a common theme in combat magic!
Says she of the twin bullet hell skyscrapers.
I guess she prefers one big attack to thousands of simultaneous little ones. Also yeah, as for her attacks... airdropped. Yeah. Very well-coordinated cargo planes flying above cloud level, dangling these from strings.
HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT COME ON
These are... very high tech.
Giant robots. Battler got stranded in the arctic, was frozen in suspended animation for hundreds of years, and the whole island was made up of lookalikes to convince him it was still 1986. IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
But TEACH CAN STILL WIN
Now all seven of the soldiers are equipped with divine shields apparently!
Reality itself is getting annoyed. Witches are bullshit.
Fuck, the defense worked!
Shut up, Ronove!
They're literally taking turns. Maybe this is just how witches play Magic: the Gathering.
FUCKING BULLSHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT
Predecessor Predecessor she's the man, if she can't do it we're fucked!
She dodged!
COME OOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
It's...
Goddammit! But...
God only knows at this point, but it looks like Predecessor still has the advantage!
I guess that's what the spear is called in addition to Gungnir! Don't ask me!
LOSE ALREADY
Is... is it really?
Everything's gone still. Did she really...
[BGM: Black Lilliana]
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
She actually did it! Someone on our side won! We're free!
I'm so happy! Justice is served!
All the horrible bullshit is finally
o...ver.........................
Oh Jesus Christ.
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhhhhh.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
Beato won all the way back when she summoned the war towers. She resurrected Predecessor out of sheer curiosity as to how long it would take the old lady to land a killing blow of her own. All she had to do to erase the whole thing and reclaim her victory at any time was revoke her own resurrection magic.
But... how did Predecessor's defenses fail?
It was... actually an embarrassingly simple trick. She distracted her opponent with a frontal attack while being much quieter about an identical one coming from behind. Predecessor blocked it by just standing behind a tower, so it only worked for the one direction...
Fuck you.
We can't just have a nice thing, can we.
To be fair, it was luck that the dirty trick she pulled early on went off without a hitch. The rest of the fight was legit, and she was overpowered. The Predecessor just couldn't think like an asshole well enough to beat one.
Sigh. Well, I guess that's nice.
Oh, I don't think the closed room will be the hard part for Battler to deal with at this point.
PAUSE.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
That's an excellent question.
These two are practically a comedy duo.
Don't give up, Battler. There's one simple thing you haven't figured out yet about this kind of display.
Yeah he watched a lot of anime growing up but ANYWAY
Sigh. Give him a minute.
It's gonna be a looooong game.
Yes, yes. Sometimes windows would open and small things would be misplaced, the servants got superstitious about it, Natsuhi demanded an end to the shenanigans. Nothing big.
The atmosphere of the mansion at night creeps Gohda the hell out, though. But surely it's nothing to worry about! Dear innocent Gohda will come to no harm.
Perhaps a bat got in somehow.
As long as there's absolutely nothing capable of harming Gohda, my favorite character, whose wellbeing I am more concerned about than anyone else's, everything will be fine.
So what's in there?
Phew! See, Gohda? There is nothing to be afraid of!
[BGM: Red Dread]
GASP
GOHDA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
Curse your total expendability!
And now they're going after poor old helpless Kumasawa! If Battler finally does accept that the culprit must be one of the 18, Beato wants to narrow it down to a non-crazy-old-hermit member of the family. Or Nanjo. But Nanjo couldn't be the culprit.
Or could he?
Anyway, right, murder, Kumasawa.
Kumasawa, look out!
How could they go after a sweet, defenseless old woman?
TINK
TINK TINK TINK
Well. Defenseless may have been an exaggeration.
But wait, Kumasawa doesn't have the One-Winged Eagle on her clothes. She can't be more of Kinzo's furniture, just an oblivious human servant like Gohda, right?
Excuse me.
Human? Furniture?
She's a fucking witch.
Well. Kind of. Kumasawa is the former Beatrice, but she's also emphatically not that person. Kind of like what Genji and Ronove have going on, not to make that too explicit or anything. It's complicated.
So! Catching up. Might be kind of awkward after Beato tried to murder her vessel.
Also after she just, like, generally went against everything the old lady ever taught her, as hard as possible, for centuries.
Teachertrice's really got to do something about her student.
And at Witch School, discipline tends to take the form of magical ass-beatings.
Shit's gonna go down hard.
[BGM: Fake Red Shoes]
I'm just gonna stand back and do my duty as an impartial narrator by not taking siGO PREDECESSOR GO
PAUSE.
A swordfight between furniture gets a little weird, but a magical duel between two witches is almost impossible to follow. It's two people who can do essentially anything they can conceive with a wave of the hands trying to kill each other. We're lucky they're just blasting each other and defending instead of summoning black holes or something.
Predecessor is a little too busy to get acquainted with you right now, Battler. Just sit back and enjoy the extremely blatant extended display of impossible-to-fake magic you're going to have to prove was somehow faked.
UNPAUSE.
Beato is dominating the offensive so far, but she knows her teacher is an expert at barriers. Nothing has gotten through.
Well. Obviously Kinzo had some friends in the military supply industry install those underground, for about one entire instance of his fortune each. Would you put it past him? You'd better fucking not.
Incidentaly, a “merute” is a meter. It's apparently a Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind reference.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
That's a lot of gun!
Predecessor is unconcerned.
DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA
I sure hope teach has a plan to not die here!
Apparently summoning large towers with very specific purposes is a common theme in combat magic!
Says she of the twin bullet hell skyscrapers.
I guess she prefers one big attack to thousands of simultaneous little ones. Also yeah, as for her attacks... airdropped. Yeah. Very well-coordinated cargo planes flying above cloud level, dangling these from strings.
HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT COME ON
These are... very high tech.
Giant robots. Battler got stranded in the arctic, was frozen in suspended animation for hundreds of years, and the whole island was made up of lookalikes to convince him it was still 1986. IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
But TEACH CAN STILL WIN
Now all seven of the soldiers are equipped with divine shields apparently!
Reality itself is getting annoyed. Witches are bullshit.
Fuck, the defense worked!
Shut up, Ronove!
They're literally taking turns. Maybe this is just how witches play Magic: the Gathering.
FUCKING BULLSHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT
Predecessor Predecessor she's the man, if she can't do it we're fucked!
She dodged!
COME OOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
It's...
Goddammit! But...
God only knows at this point, but it looks like Predecessor still has the advantage!
I guess that's what the spear is called in addition to Gungnir! Don't ask me!
LOSE ALREADY
Is... is it really?
Everything's gone still. Did she really...
[BGM: Black Lilliana]
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
She actually did it! Someone on our side won! We're free!
I'm so happy! Justice is served!
All the horrible bullshit is finally
o...ver.........................
Oh Jesus Christ.
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhhhhh.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
Beato won all the way back when she summoned the war towers. She resurrected Predecessor out of sheer curiosity as to how long it would take the old lady to land a killing blow of her own. All she had to do to erase the whole thing and reclaim her victory at any time was revoke her own resurrection magic.
But... how did Predecessor's defenses fail?
It was... actually an embarrassingly simple trick. She distracted her opponent with a frontal attack while being much quieter about an identical one coming from behind. Predecessor blocked it by just standing behind a tower, so it only worked for the one direction...
Fuck you.
We can't just have a nice thing, can we.
To be fair, it was luck that the dirty trick she pulled early on went off without a hitch. The rest of the fight was legit, and she was overpowered. The Predecessor just couldn't think like an asshole well enough to beat one.
Sigh. Well, I guess that's nice.
Oh, I don't think the closed room will be the hard part for Battler to deal with at this point.
PAUSE.
[SFX: ahaha.wav]
That's an excellent question.
These two are practically a comedy duo.
Don't give up, Battler. There's one simple thing you haven't figured out yet about this kind of display.
Yeah he watched a lot of anime growing up but ANYWAY
Sigh. Give him a minute.
It's gonna be a looooong game.