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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni - Episode 3 Chapter 5
Episode 3 Chapter 5 – Storytime with Beato
Some time in the past...
Somewhere on Rokkenjima, but not the Ushiromiya mansion, a nice visit takes place. They do not make small talk for long.
...Odd question.
Yeah, I'm lost. There's not a lot of cackling going on, it seems wrong.
There's something off about Beatrice. She's acting too... innocent. And... what? Father?
This whole scenario just continues to be odd.
Kinzo seems to have all the control in their interactions here. He also, nonetheless, seems to be nervous about it.
PAUSE.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Present Beato's explanation is not behaving immediately like an explanation.
What. But... witch. Thousand years. Deal with Kinzo. Gold. Question marks????
She is referring, of course, to the second mansion on Rokkenjima, hidden somewhere in the forest.
I kinda figured Kinzo would be the smothering type, but sheesh.
What. I'm saying that a lot anymore, aren't I?
Kinzo is always begging her forgiveness for something.
Turns out what he did wrong was enslave her.
Battler thinks her explanation is bullshit, but he'll gladly accept some of the basic premises!
Kinzo probably did not respond to this like a decent person.
Oh, you know you want to hear yourself talk anyway.
Right, so what's all this about flesh cages?
...Ah.
No, Battler.
Something like suicide.
Not suicide per se, considering a witch's ghost should have the power to revive her body later, but... Kinzo is the worst kind of stubborn.
She's saying that her plan backfired.
Battler is having trouble wrapping his head around what Kinzo did. Did he tie her soul to the mansion or some shit?
That's Beato's version of events, certainly.
But what about the part where--
Oh goddammit, Battler, you should hear this. The magical aspects may be an illusion, but the story is clearly important.
Besides, at this point you're just being rude to the person who's repeatedly killed everyone you know.
Anyway, why is it that this so-called homunculus of Beatrice doesn't know who she is, despite having the genuine article's soul?
Ronove will take over if Beato's gonna pout.
And pouting is her specialty. It's just us guys now, I guess. On with the story.
Battler heard about it in his favorite Japanese animes that didn't exist in the 80's but neither did Touhou.
I'd say this went somewhere creepy if it hadn't started somewhere creepy. I guess it just keeps getting worse.
So... yeah. Kinzo's attempt to keep Beatrice trapped functionally just resulted in a completely different person who didn't know magic, or anything else in particular what with growing up in a small mansion hidden in a forest hidden on an island.
I'm not terribly surprised that he's begging for forgiveness in vain all the time.
Do we really want to know where this is going?
Ruling out this staggeringly unpleasant theory would, legally, count as Putting Something Past Kinzo. We just can't fucking do it.
But maybe Beato made the whole thing up, hopefully.
Balls. Should you be using the boss's toys without permission, though, Ronove?
There's no dealing with this guy.
Well, there's that. Ronove seems generous, so Battler decides to try for some more.
It means you can't just ask “does magic exist,” because that would not be a game. Come on, dude.
So how about the thing with the number of people on the island?
Nobody does wildly fluctuating levels of helpfulness like Ronove.
Ninteen years ago, that's a nice specific figure.
And then she became a homunculus, right?
Okay, yes. That's one theory.
The explanation could be anything, though, of course.
Whooooo! And we're definitely not forgetting anything!
Uh...
Okay, now we just have to--
[BGM: Fishy Aroma]
Shit. What do you want, Lucifer?
The one who almost sort of plays nice sometimes is being ushered out of the room. Of course.
Beato has really taken to delegating the work of trolling Battler, though.There's just so much of it to do. Jokingly hitting on her, Battler offers Lucifer the last of Ronove's cookies and CHRIST
Battler's getting used to this bullshit, at least.
Call me crazy but I think MAYBE the Stakes are making sexual innuendos when they talk like this? It's subtle but I just get the sense... maybe it's my mind in the gutter, who knows.
Just for kicks, she kills him again.
TO BE CONTINUED
Some time in the past...
Somewhere on Rokkenjima, but not the Ushiromiya mansion, a nice visit takes place. They do not make small talk for long.
...Odd question.
Yeah, I'm lost. There's not a lot of cackling going on, it seems wrong.
There's something off about Beatrice. She's acting too... innocent. And... what? Father?
This whole scenario just continues to be odd.
Kinzo seems to have all the control in their interactions here. He also, nonetheless, seems to be nervous about it.
PAUSE.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Present Beato's explanation is not behaving immediately like an explanation.
What. But... witch. Thousand years. Deal with Kinzo. Gold. Question marks????
She is referring, of course, to the second mansion on Rokkenjima, hidden somewhere in the forest.
I kinda figured Kinzo would be the smothering type, but sheesh.
What. I'm saying that a lot anymore, aren't I?
Kinzo is always begging her forgiveness for something.
Turns out what he did wrong was enslave her.
Battler thinks her explanation is bullshit, but he'll gladly accept some of the basic premises!
Kinzo probably did not respond to this like a decent person.
Oh, you know you want to hear yourself talk anyway.
Right, so what's all this about flesh cages?
...Ah.
No, Battler.
Something like suicide.
Not suicide per se, considering a witch's ghost should have the power to revive her body later, but... Kinzo is the worst kind of stubborn.
She's saying that her plan backfired.
Battler is having trouble wrapping his head around what Kinzo did. Did he tie her soul to the mansion or some shit?
That's Beato's version of events, certainly.
But what about the part where--
Oh goddammit, Battler, you should hear this. The magical aspects may be an illusion, but the story is clearly important.
Besides, at this point you're just being rude to the person who's repeatedly killed everyone you know.
Anyway, why is it that this so-called homunculus of Beatrice doesn't know who she is, despite having the genuine article's soul?
Ronove will take over if Beato's gonna pout.
And pouting is her specialty. It's just us guys now, I guess. On with the story.
Battler heard about it in his favorite Japanese animes that didn't exist in the 80's but neither did Touhou.
I'd say this went somewhere creepy if it hadn't started somewhere creepy. I guess it just keeps getting worse.
So... yeah. Kinzo's attempt to keep Beatrice trapped functionally just resulted in a completely different person who didn't know magic, or anything else in particular what with growing up in a small mansion hidden in a forest hidden on an island.
I'm not terribly surprised that he's begging for forgiveness in vain all the time.
Do we really want to know where this is going?
Ruling out this staggeringly unpleasant theory would, legally, count as Putting Something Past Kinzo. We just can't fucking do it.
But maybe Beato made the whole thing up, hopefully.
Balls. Should you be using the boss's toys without permission, though, Ronove?
There's no dealing with this guy.
Well, there's that. Ronove seems generous, so Battler decides to try for some more.
It means you can't just ask “does magic exist,” because that would not be a game. Come on, dude.
So how about the thing with the number of people on the island?
Nobody does wildly fluctuating levels of helpfulness like Ronove.
Ninteen years ago, that's a nice specific figure.
And then she became a homunculus, right?
Okay, yes. That's one theory.
The explanation could be anything, though, of course.
Whooooo! And we're definitely not forgetting anything!
Uh...
Okay, now we just have to--
[BGM: Fishy Aroma]
Shit. What do you want, Lucifer?
The one who almost sort of plays nice sometimes is being ushered out of the room. Of course.
Beato has really taken to delegating the work of trolling Battler, though.There's just so much of it to do. Jokingly hitting on her, Battler offers Lucifer the last of Ronove's cookies and CHRIST
Battler's getting used to this bullshit, at least.
Call me crazy but I think MAYBE the Stakes are making sexual innuendos when they talk like this? It's subtle but I just get the sense... maybe it's my mind in the gutter, who knows.
Just for kicks, she kills him again.
TO BE CONTINUED