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Gardock ([personal profile] gardock) wrote2013-01-28 12:06 pm
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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni - Episode 3 Chapter 1

Episode 3 Chapter 1 – The Manocentric Manocracy



Boat! Eva has just finished yelling at Rudolf and Hideyoshi for smoking inside the cabin, so they're taking their cigarette break on the deck.



Tobacco-related small talk aside, what's Eva's problem?




Oh right sure I can believe that, Eva, gentle and quiet. ...Well, actually, yes, I can. We haven't seen her off Rokkenjima, have we? Maybe she isn't normally... the way she seems to be normally. Going to visit Kinzo could make anyone cranky. Especially this year.




She's just stressed out because MORE THAN ANYTHING, SHE NEEDS A LOT OF MONEY RIGHT NOW. That she's the ringleader of the plan to gang up on Krauss should not be especially surprising.



Has she ever. By the way, Hideyoshi, you're kind of her husband. You really don't know this stuff? Seems Eva doesn't like talking about her past.




Looks like it's time for a FLASHBACK!





In a sensible world, Eva would have at least been permitted to compete with Krauss for successorship, and if she had it wouldn't really have been a competition. See, Krauss has always been kind of a lazy moron. Eva proved to be smarter, more determined, and a huge overachiever; Krauss's only advantages were age and having a penis, and the latter quality was pretty much the deciding factor for Kinzo.




Naturally Krauss was good and smug about it all.



Keep in mind, this was in the 50's or so. And in Japan, to boot. Eva had a pretty hard time making headway on the “what if we all weren't huge sexist assholes” front.




She also hated Krauss for his tendency to dress up his misogynistic horseshit as friendly advice. I believe on the internet they call that concern trolling?




I'm pretty sure given my limited audience here I don't have to explain the translation notes for this stuff, but just in case: she's calling him out for changing his first-person pronoun of choice in order to sound more formal and pretentious.




Good idea: insulting someone on how hard they could kick your ass if the mood stuck them.



Hahaaaaa, no. If Eva were a dude this conversation would not be happening. You'd be polishing her(his) shoes, and she(he)'d be laughing.




Uh-oh.





Hey, I said Kinzo favored Krauss to be the successor because he's the eldest son. That doesn't necessarily mean he ever liked him. Eva steels her courage and speaks up.






Kinzo is a walking sandwich joke.




Kinzo descends into a hacking, coughing, screaming-”DISINHERITED!”-repeatedly fit.




Krauss of course decides to kick Eva out of the room and both seem like the cool big brother who's on her side and try to get brownie points for aiding father. (Joke's on him, Kinzo is incapable of feeling gratitude to anyone but BEATRIIIIIIIIIIIIICE)



That is such a good question.



Genji tries to be a bro to everyone simultaneously, but some things are impossible even for the King of Bros. Eva gets shooed out after all.



Eva is a pretty die-hard feminist. It's why she grows up to marry and not take her husband's name. Of course, by the standards of her environment growing up she was a radical just for being reasonably sure she wasn't a potted plant with boobs, but still.




Oh, huh. Suddenly Pre-College Eva gets her own sprite.



Eva is literally her own imaginary friend. That's... anyway!





More seriously, this young Eva is how the adult version gives a face to all her doomed ambitions. A coping mechanism, kind of. She's not really the same entity as Eva at all, just a personification of her desire.



And her anger. (There's a translation note about how that's a non-literal translation of a modified Japanese figure of speech but I'm pretty sure it never becomes important.)




Magiwhat now.




I am becoming slightly concerned about Young Eva here!

...And you know, that'll never catch on. “Young Eva.” Let's just call her EVA. Allcaps. (All katakana, if you are for some bizarre reason reading along in Japanese.)




Eva would consider just letting her future husband show Krauss up. Hell, he turns out to like Hideyoshi, right? Inasmuch as he likes anyone. EVA thinks that's a form of giving up. I get the feeling much of Eva's fire and determination can be traced back to pep talks with EVA.



I think you overestimate Kinzo's flexibility, EVA. He's a little more... Kinzo... than you seem to think.




STOP SAYING MAGIC. Don't you even fucking think about being any manner of witch, EVA, I swear to god!



Eva still has her doubts. But she has been considering another plan.





EVA is not thrilled with this plan.



By the way we're in the present now. And by the present, I mean 1986.



She tries to justify herself, but.



In practice, with her “new” plan, Eva's just being shitty to the next generation in a lot of ironic ways. This family is a perpetual motion machine that sustains an infinite stream of dysfunction. If she wants to get back at Krauss, she shouldn't go through their kids.



She should do it the good old-fashioned Ushiromiya way: lies, intimidation and coercion.




EVA is stubborn and hard to please, though. You could say she gets bored really easily, like it's a poison to—NO!



None of that!



Shame on you!








Whew! Glad we're out of that dream sequence. I'm sure Eva's subconscious just conflated her problems with Spooky Shit because going to the island makes her think of the legend of the gold. Or something.

...Just shut up.




Aaahhh, making fun of Battler. Talk about greener pastures.




Eva and Rudolf regroup, because after all, MORE THAN ANYTHING—wait, no, right, already used that joke once this chapter. Whatever.




The gang's all here! We're getting these suckers to the island faster with each game, aren't we.



Hideyoshi decides to take care of Eva, since she wouldn't want anyone else thinking there's something wrong. They need a moment alone.




Eva may be scary sometimes, but bear in mind that nobody can accuse her of not loving George and Hideyoshi. Even if she's worried George might think that, himself.



I'm sorry, were you just expositing about your troubles in here? Kumasawa sniffs that shit out like a bloodhound.



Hubby's got it covered.




Definitely!





These two are actually pretty sweet.




I'm sorry, were you just being receptive to ass-kissing out here? Gohda sniffs that shit out like a bloodhound.



It's good to--



...Who?





It must have been her imagination, probably. Can't hear a thing, really. Not even the nakus of the uminekos.


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