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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni - Episode 2 Chapter 16
Episode 2 Chapter 16 – Battler Culprit Theory
Meanwhile, Genji eats.
Seriously, he hasn't seen fit to alter his routine much. If Beatrice murders him in the middle of it, well. Not much he can do about that! His main concern is that without his master key he has to skip most of the actual rooms and just patrol the halls and a few areas outside. What a huge bummer! Basically the worst thing that's happened today.
Hm.
Genji has something to report, Rosa.
Hm indeed! The parlor party agrees to go check out the crime scene.
And there sure are some old people bodies out here.
They've of course still got the slit throats,, but they're also gouged now—the stakes don't actually have to be the cause of death, by the way. The places penetrated being the knee and ankle tell Battler that they seem to have missed about three Twilights. Say, weren't there three people with Genji who aren't around and who he hasn't mentioned yet?
Genji does not at all fuck around when it comes to dilligence. Better go check out Natsuhi's room.
Oh my god, blood? Battler how could you even suggest something so macabre?!?
Closed room. Rosa very deliberately hands Battler, not Genji, a master key.
Remember what I said about not even Ryukishi describing what happened? Half-truth. There's not much detail on the state of the bodies, but somebody's gotta discover them.
Gohda.
George.
Shannon. Her stake fell out, so Battler gets an eyefull of her brains and freaks the hell out.
Rosa will have none of Battler's detective shenanigans.
They're fucked.
Still pathetic.
Battler doesn't even have the energy to really try solving this closed room. Locked door, Rosa has all the master keys, you know the drill.
Parlor seems unmolested.
Seems.
Genji's still not invited in. He's wolf as fuck.
Spoiler warning: she's lying and doesn't give a shit.
Well! Into the parlor with three people who fully and totally trust each other and can wait out the storm together in peace.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
He opens the letter. It's a lot like the Discord letter last time, with the Triforce rune and all.
And this.
Ironic timing cut--
[BGM: nighteyes]
Hey, what do you know. Discord.
He found the letter. As far as Rosa is concerned, that means he put it there.
BECAUSE SHE'S MOTHERFUCKING DARK ROSA.
Right, so--
Maria politely suggests not killing each other! She is ignored.
Rosa thinks Battler is an impostor, an outsider with an outlandish scheme to kill the whole Ushiromiya family and make off with their money!
Battler's rebuttal: NO U
PAUSE.
I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THE COLOR RED
UNPAUSE.
But seriously, two can play at this game! Rosa is comically suspicious!
If they come to blows over this, Battler had better remember Rosa has the gun.
Maria recalls, just in the nick of time, that her mama's attention is best commanded by shrill screaming. She brings Battler and Rosa to a ceasefire.
...It's the real deal now, isn't it.
Battler can't take it anymore. He surrenders.
Battler is not the detective now.
Know who this reminds me of?
Yeah, surprisingly enough he actually made it this time.
You know you could just open your study door and she can walk in in the flesh by now, right?
This is not a healthy relationship.
My god, he does go on.
This match has gone unfinished for decades.
Will that work?
Finally, Kinzo gets what he wants. A reunion.
Meanwhile, Genji eats.
Seriously, he hasn't seen fit to alter his routine much. If Beatrice murders him in the middle of it, well. Not much he can do about that! His main concern is that without his master key he has to skip most of the actual rooms and just patrol the halls and a few areas outside. What a huge bummer! Basically the worst thing that's happened today.
Hm.
Genji has something to report, Rosa.
Hm indeed! The parlor party agrees to go check out the crime scene.
And there sure are some old people bodies out here.
They've of course still got the slit throats,, but they're also gouged now—the stakes don't actually have to be the cause of death, by the way. The places penetrated being the knee and ankle tell Battler that they seem to have missed about three Twilights. Say, weren't there three people with Genji who aren't around and who he hasn't mentioned yet?
Genji does not at all fuck around when it comes to dilligence. Better go check out Natsuhi's room.
Oh my god, blood? Battler how could you even suggest something so macabre?!?
Closed room. Rosa very deliberately hands Battler, not Genji, a master key.
Remember what I said about not even Ryukishi describing what happened? Half-truth. There's not much detail on the state of the bodies, but somebody's gotta discover them.
Gohda.
George.
Shannon. Her stake fell out, so Battler gets an eyefull of her brains and freaks the hell out.
Rosa will have none of Battler's detective shenanigans.
They're fucked.
Still pathetic.
Battler doesn't even have the energy to really try solving this closed room. Locked door, Rosa has all the master keys, you know the drill.
Parlor seems unmolested.
Seems.
Genji's still not invited in. He's wolf as fuck.
Spoiler warning: she's lying and doesn't give a shit.
Well! Into the parlor with three people who fully and totally trust each other and can wait out the storm together in peace.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
He opens the letter. It's a lot like the Discord letter last time, with the Triforce rune and all.
And this.
Ironic timing cut--
[BGM: nighteyes]
Hey, what do you know. Discord.
He found the letter. As far as Rosa is concerned, that means he put it there.
BECAUSE SHE'S MOTHERFUCKING DARK ROSA.
Right, so--
Maria politely suggests not killing each other! She is ignored.
Rosa thinks Battler is an impostor, an outsider with an outlandish scheme to kill the whole Ushiromiya family and make off with their money!
Battler's rebuttal: NO U
PAUSE.
I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THE COLOR RED
UNPAUSE.
But seriously, two can play at this game! Rosa is comically suspicious!
If they come to blows over this, Battler had better remember Rosa has the gun.
Maria recalls, just in the nick of time, that her mama's attention is best commanded by shrill screaming. She brings Battler and Rosa to a ceasefire.
...It's the real deal now, isn't it.
Battler can't take it anymore. He surrenders.
Battler is not the detective now.
Know who this reminds me of?
Yeah, surprisingly enough he actually made it this time.
You know you could just open your study door and she can walk in in the flesh by now, right?
This is not a healthy relationship.
My god, he does go on.
This match has gone unfinished for decades.
Will that work?
Finally, Kinzo gets what he wants. A reunion.