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Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni - Episode 2 Chapter 7
Episode 2 Chapter 7 – Just Kidding, You're Still Furniture
With Battler in dreamland and Maria playing Twenty Questions and All the Answers Are Beatrice with Rosa, the kids' funtime group is just George, Jessica, and Shannon. They just assume Maria and Battler are hanging out for now, since they get along so well.
No big deal, Shannon. You almost certainly weren't as rude as Battler. So how about that Kanon?
Jessica would rather not talk about how things went down between him and her!
Get a room, assholes.
Let's pay attention to people who aren't a Hallmark card. Conveniently, Shannon has to go to work now anyway.
Witches have to eat too, you know. Or... do they? They enjoy it at the very least.
Gohda has never served Kinzo directly. And now he doesn't even get to serve this mysterious guest of honor, either? Only the servants who wear the One-Winged Eagle—Genji, Shannon, and Kanon—are allowed to serve either Kinzo or Beatrice. All Gohda hears from that rule is HOW COME ONLY THE FURNITURE GETS TO SHOW OFF TO THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE
Poor, sweet Gohda. It's so hard to be him.
THAT'S ENOUGH OF YOUR ZANY SELF-PARODY, OLD LADY
Fine, go ahead, Shannon. Just tear Gohda's hopes and dreams apart and stomp all over them why don't you!
But seriously, what a toolbag.
Shannon takes this news poorly.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP, SHANNON
If they go to the Golden Land, all their troubles are over. In the Golden Land, everyone is equal and none of their old problems can affect them anymore. If Shannon stops being Close with George at the last second, she won't be sacrificed, so she can go to the Golden Land. So come on, Shannon, your course of action is obvious: dump George's ass. It's the right thing to do. Because furniture.
She's not gonna do it. Because feelings.
She's gotta go take Beatrice dinner now.
Elsewhere!
This song and dance yet again. Beatrice's physical presence strangely isn't coaxing Kinzo out of the room. Probably because he knows stepping out from behind the scorpion-engraved doorknob will just make him a top-priority sacrifice, like last time.
Kinzo approaches finishing the game with unreasonable intensity.
FINE you whiny baby doctor.
[BGM:worldend]
At a time like this, when one could die tomorrow, one might as well be good to one's friends.
So!
Again: awkward.
It's true. You got totally played.
Shannon started falling in love with a guy because he changed the subject for her when she got confused once. When it comes to gratitude, she has pretty low standards. She declines to be scandalized by the witch's cruelty.
Uh oh. You done fucked up.
People being okay with what she does to them is Beatrice's second-least-favorite thing, behind people not believing in her.
Oh and I forgot “defiance” on that list. It's really kind of a top three, all very interchangeable.
Shannon is so boned.
Shannon is smarter than Kanon, despite her ludicrous refusal to be frightened. For how vocal he is about hating Beatrice, he should have known there was a glaring catch. There always is.
Never trust witches.
Shannon's applying playground logic here. If you ignore the bully, they'll have to leave you alone eventually!
Only most schoolyard bullies don't escalate their bullying by brutally slaughtering everyone you care about.
IDEALS SPEECH
It's ON. She's going to put Kanon, George and Jessica through a giant blender and drown Shannon in the mixture.
Wha—hey! She—she had more trolling to do! Get back here and be trolled, goddamn you! LOSER!!
Elsewhere:
Food.
Babbling about food. After which...
Maybe somebody should ask Krauss and Natsuhi about it. Before that can happen, though, Kyrie gets Gohda to mention that the guest is eating in her room.
Natsuhi doesn't know what the fuck.
Maria knows who it is!
Mass confusion. Everyone gets involved—Kyrie, Rosa and Maria attest to meeting the witch, and the rest attest to that being totally crazy, dude! Who is she how did she get here why is she here????????????? Nobody has a clue, aside from “Kinzo is definitely responsible.”
By the way.
Out with the brats. It's time to do some hardcore inheritance vulturing.
Nanjo of course gets out too.
Aha! Someone who knows stuff.
It's a long story...
With Battler in dreamland and Maria playing Twenty Questions and All the Answers Are Beatrice with Rosa, the kids' funtime group is just George, Jessica, and Shannon. They just assume Maria and Battler are hanging out for now, since they get along so well.
No big deal, Shannon. You almost certainly weren't as rude as Battler. So how about that Kanon?
Jessica would rather not talk about how things went down between him and her!
Get a room, assholes.
Let's pay attention to people who aren't a Hallmark card. Conveniently, Shannon has to go to work now anyway.
Witches have to eat too, you know. Or... do they? They enjoy it at the very least.
Gohda has never served Kinzo directly. And now he doesn't even get to serve this mysterious guest of honor, either? Only the servants who wear the One-Winged Eagle—Genji, Shannon, and Kanon—are allowed to serve either Kinzo or Beatrice. All Gohda hears from that rule is HOW COME ONLY THE FURNITURE GETS TO SHOW OFF TO THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE
Poor, sweet Gohda. It's so hard to be him.
THAT'S ENOUGH OF YOUR ZANY SELF-PARODY, OLD LADY
Fine, go ahead, Shannon. Just tear Gohda's hopes and dreams apart and stomp all over them why don't you!
But seriously, what a toolbag.
Shannon takes this news poorly.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP, SHANNON
If they go to the Golden Land, all their troubles are over. In the Golden Land, everyone is equal and none of their old problems can affect them anymore. If Shannon stops being Close with George at the last second, she won't be sacrificed, so she can go to the Golden Land. So come on, Shannon, your course of action is obvious: dump George's ass. It's the right thing to do. Because furniture.
She's not gonna do it. Because feelings.
She's gotta go take Beatrice dinner now.
Elsewhere!
This song and dance yet again. Beatrice's physical presence strangely isn't coaxing Kinzo out of the room. Probably because he knows stepping out from behind the scorpion-engraved doorknob will just make him a top-priority sacrifice, like last time.
Kinzo approaches finishing the game with unreasonable intensity.
FINE you whiny baby doctor.
[BGM:worldend]
At a time like this, when one could die tomorrow, one might as well be good to one's friends.
So!
Again: awkward.
It's true. You got totally played.
Shannon started falling in love with a guy because he changed the subject for her when she got confused once. When it comes to gratitude, she has pretty low standards. She declines to be scandalized by the witch's cruelty.
Uh oh. You done fucked up.
People being okay with what she does to them is Beatrice's second-least-favorite thing, behind people not believing in her.
Oh and I forgot “defiance” on that list. It's really kind of a top three, all very interchangeable.
Shannon is so boned.
Shannon is smarter than Kanon, despite her ludicrous refusal to be frightened. For how vocal he is about hating Beatrice, he should have known there was a glaring catch. There always is.
Never trust witches.
Shannon's applying playground logic here. If you ignore the bully, they'll have to leave you alone eventually!
Only most schoolyard bullies don't escalate their bullying by brutally slaughtering everyone you care about.
IDEALS SPEECH
It's ON. She's going to put Kanon, George and Jessica through a giant blender and drown Shannon in the mixture.
Wha—hey! She—she had more trolling to do! Get back here and be trolled, goddamn you! LOSER!!
Elsewhere:
Food.
Babbling about food. After which...
Maybe somebody should ask Krauss and Natsuhi about it. Before that can happen, though, Kyrie gets Gohda to mention that the guest is eating in her room.
Natsuhi doesn't know what the fuck.
Maria knows who it is!
Mass confusion. Everyone gets involved—Kyrie, Rosa and Maria attest to meeting the witch, and the rest attest to that being totally crazy, dude! Who is she how did she get here why is she here????????????? Nobody has a clue, aside from “Kinzo is definitely responsible.”
By the way.
Out with the brats. It's time to do some hardcore inheritance vulturing.
Nanjo of course gets out too.
Aha! Someone who knows stuff.
It's a long story...